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Thread: Three Envelopes, Gallows Jokes, Marriage Humor

  1. #1
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    Three Envelopes, Gallows Jokes, Marriage Humor

    http://www.nursinghumor.com/envelopes

    Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.

    "Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. `Tillie,' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then I can rest in peace'."

    "What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked.

    "The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, 'Please use this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably.

    "The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, 'Please use this for a nice funeral.' I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending."

    "And the third envelope?" asked her friends.

    "The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note, 'Please use this to buy a nice stone.'

    Holding her hand in the air and showing off her ten carat diamond ring., Tillie said, "So, do you like my stone?"

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  2. #2
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    Re: Three Envelopes, Gallows Jokes, Marriage Humor

    I love it! Have also heard 'the stone' referred to as 'the memorial stone'.

  3. #3
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    A man lies on his deathbed surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and four children.
    Three of the children are tall, good-looking, and athletic; but the fourth and the youngest is an ugly runt.

    "Darling wife," The husband whispers, "assure me that the youngest child really is mine.

    I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if..."

    The wife gently interrupts him. "Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother's grave that you are his father."

    The man dies, happy.

    The wife mutters under her breath: "Thank God he didn't ask me about the other three!"


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    This is when you are able to make the best of a bad situation, this is finding something funny in Hell. Like the age-old adage, "Laughter is the best medicine."

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