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Thread: Things You Don't Want to Hear when Regaining Consc

  1. #1
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    Things You Don\'t Want to Hear when Regaining Consc

    Things You Don't Want to Hear when Regaining Consciousness, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor

    "I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice."

    "Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he's still moving."

    "Blink once for 'yes'".

    "What do you mean we have the wrong patient?"

    "Why is there a tag on his toe?"

    "Do you think he can hear us?"

    "I didn't even know a human could bend that way."

    "I'm sorry, we must not have used enough anesthesia. Just relax now.

    We'll be done in a jiffy."

    "Hold the patient still, we've almost pried it open."

    "Did the doctor know he would look like that afterward?"

    "Of course I've performed this operation before, nurse!"

    "Nurse, make sure you're getting all this down. It'll make a great 'ER' script."

    ************************************************** ****
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  2. #2
    Super Moderator cougarnurse's Avatar
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    This thread is making me shake my head. Anyone else have any additions?


  3. #3
    Member Extraordinaire hppygr8ful's Avatar
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    What about the famous Bill Cosby line "OOPS"

  4. #4
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    Three nurses died and went to heaven, where they were met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter.

    To the first, he asked, “What did you do on Earth and why should you go to heaven?” “I was a nurse in an inner city hospital,” she replied. “I worked to bring healing and peace to the poor suffering city children.” “Very noble,” said St. Peter. “You may enter.” And in through the gates she went.

    To the next, he asked the same question: “So what did you do on Earth?” “I was a nurse at a missionary hospital in Africa,” she replied. “For many years, I worked with a skeleton crew of doctors and nurses who tried to reach out to as many peoples and tribes with a hand of healing and with a message of God’s love.” “How touching,” said St. Peter. “You too may enter.” And in she went.

    He then came to the last nurse, to whom he asked, “So, what did you do back on Earth?” After some hesitation, she explained, “I was just a nurse at an HMO.” St. Peter pondered this for a moment, and then said, “Okay, you may enter also.”

    “Whew!” said the nurse. “For a moment there, I thought you weren’t going to let me in.”

    “Oh, you can come in,” said St. Peter, “but you can only stay for three days….”
    —angelfire.com/wa/nursejokes

  5. #5
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    Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.

    After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down, I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

    “I don’t know,” he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”

  6. #6
    "Does the Dr. still having a drinking problem"

    "We were supposed to go in from the back?!"

    pssst and pointing...... "Hey no insurance one again, wake him up and get him out of here"

    These are my personal ones. Lol

  7. #7
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    "Count the laps again, I think I got the last one…."

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