There seems to be a lot of people who think that if you remind a patient of what the doctor said or if you tell them the consequences of their refusal that you're abusing the patient.

Reasoning with a patient is not the same as forcing them.
If a patient does not remember what the doctor's order was, you have the right to remind them, ie, an eye surgery patient can take a shower with their eyes shut.

If I talk about having tried to reason with a patient, I sometimes get accused of forcing them to do something even if I'm talking to R.N.s who should know better.