Funny nurse sayings

[nurseamyg]

“I just realized that I graduated from nursing school 20 years ago today! I remember drawing blood for the first time on a real person (not those fake mannequin arms with the red dyed liquid). One of the nurses I worked with was brave enough to let me practice on her. As I started through the skin, she yelled, ‘Ouch!’ It startled me so much I dropped the needle. It was hanging off her arm, half in and half out, as she said through gritted teeth, ‘Finish shoving it all the way in!’ I did. Finished drawing the blood and we still laugh about that to this day.”
—Cindi Beck Jenkins on 16 things I remember from nursing school

[nurseamyg]

“Psych hospital, struggling with a difficult patient during a tense situation. While trying to restrain said patient, bottoms came loose and fell down as I was tackled to the floor. Now lying on the floor (which is covered in urine from the patient’s refusal to use the restroom) and restraining patient with pants around my ankles. Then staff shows up in room to this image. Will never live it down (and want to shower every time I even think about it).”
—Jeffrey Bodurka on Facebook sweeps question “What is your worst OMG scrubs stain story?”

[nurseamyg]

BATS

Definition: Broke all to sh*t.

Usage: That poor kid has a BATS fracture from falling out of a tree.

Contributed by Scrubs reader Becca

[nurseamyg]

“I used to say you must be a nurse if you believe speeding lead therapy (a bullet) is one of the best treatments for some patients.”
Vanessa Cain on Nurse Jackie’s “You might be a nurse if…”

[nurseamyg]

“One time when I had worked a double and came back the next day, I had very little sleep in between and was sooooo tired I fell asleep sitting on the toilet!”
— Cathi Alexia Spears on Facebook sweeps question “Where’s the weirdest place you’ve taken a nap?”

[nurseamyg]

“I used to say you must be a nurse if you believe speeding lead therapy (a bullet) is one of the best treatments for some patients.”
Vanessa Cain on Nurse Jackie’s “You might be a nurse if…”

[nurseamyg]

“Someone please tell the new kids (or whoever does this) that there is to be no crack on the unit. Besides dragging pants, there’s an awful lot of butt cracks showing with those low riders…arrgh!”
— 10 style tips from the Head Nurse

[nurseamyg]

“I was taking care of a 96-year-old black lady who thanked me repeatedly for being an angel. ‘Oh, I’m no angel,’ I assured her, ‘just ask my kids. They think I’m the Wicked Witch of the West.’ Without skipping a beat, she said, ‘Child, that means you’re doing your job.’ I love that lady sooooo much and have used her line repeatedly on my kids, much to their displeasure!”
— Maureen Evers on Facebook sweeps question “What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?”

[nurseamyg]

“@ Michelle: Batman and Iron Man shirts have nothing on Charlie Brown, Winnie the Pooh and the Jonas Brothers scrubs designs.”
— Nicole Lehr on You know you’re a pediatric nurse when…

[nurseamyg]

“Nap? What is that? Being a nurse I rarely find myself with the luxury of a nap. Those little catnaps work wonders, though…I woke up with my head on the laundry basket in the closet. I only got down there to find my missing shoe, I swear. LOL!”
— Tina Christensen on Facebook sweeps question “Where’s the weirdest place you’ve taken a napp?”