Reply With Quote“I used to say you must be a nurse if you believe speeding lead therapy (a bullet) is one of the best treatments for some patients.”
Vanessa Cain on Nurse Jackie’s “You might be a nurse if…”
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon.
Dag Hammarskjold
“I used to say you must be a nurse if you believe speeding lead therapy (a bullet) is one of the best treatments for some patients.”
Vanessa Cain on Nurse Jackie’s “You might be a nurse if…”
I was assigned to care for a young man who had been shot three times. He had no life threatening injuries but certainly severe wounds. I barged into his single room to ask if he’d completed his menu for the following day to find him standing gingerly beside his bed using a urinal. To cover any embarrassment he might feel, I blurted out an old Australian expression: “Oh! The sights you see when you haven’t got a gun!” Needless to say, I blushed!
One evening while administering medication to an elderly lady the following exchange took place:
“Hi, I have your medication for you.”
“Oh, okay.”
” I’m gonna give you some Pepcid for your stomach, but I’m putting it in your IV.”
(Patient looked a bit perplexed) “Okay. Uhmmm…I have a question.”
“Oh, what’s your question?”
“Well, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I was just wondering …why Pepsi and not Coke?”
A first year student in her first month of clinicals in a general surgery ward gave this report of her patient to her clinical instructor:
“My patient Mr. X is a 45-year-old gentleman who has been diagnosed to have a calcium stomach.”
The instructor was confused as she had never heard of a calcium stomach. When she opened the patient’s history sheet, it turned out to be carcinoma – Ca Stomach.
I was caring for a 22-year-old newly diagnosed insulin dependent Diabetic who was extremely non-compliant. In my effort to illustrate that compliance and good control of blood sugars generally will delay the onset and severity of long-term complications, I shared the clinical picture of a young man. The man, due to his denial of his disease, by 32 years of age was blind, on dialysis, had lost his testicles and was about to have his feet amputated. The patient cried out in horror, “How can you live without testicles?”
”‘Positive Revlon Sign’—you can tell when a patient is feeling better when she starts to wear makeup.”
— Jenn O’Keefe on Nursing slang terms—got any top picks?
“One time when I had worked a double and came back the next day, I had very little sleep in between and was sooooo tired I fell asleep sitting on the toilet!”
— Cathi Alexia Spears on Facebook sweeps question “Where’s the weirdest place you’ve taken a nap?”
How can anybody hate nurses? Nobody hates nurses. The only time you hate a nurse is when they're giving you an enema.
Warren Beatty
“Forensic Pathologist fishes a body out of a river and knows right away it’s a nurse. Why? The stomach was empty, the bladder full, and the a** completely chewed off!”
— via Theresa Brown, nurse, New York Times blogger, and contributor to Scrubs magazine and shared on Facebook.com/FunnyNurses
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