Doctor, Doctor, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical
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Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain. Why's that?
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.

Doctor, doctor, my hair's coming out. Can you give me something to keep it in?
Certainly - how about a paper bag?

Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring me.
Next, please!

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together!

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge. What's come over you?
Two cars and a bus!

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon.
Sit there and don't stir.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a billiard ball.
Get back in the queue.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there's two of me.
One at a time, please.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you.
I can't. I'm not allowed on the furniture.

Doctor, doctor, I've lost my memory.
When did it happen?
When did what happen?

Doctor, doctor, my little boy's swallowed a bullet. What shall I do?
Well, for a start, don't point him at me.

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More Medical Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical

Eating Ants, Emergency Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. One day, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ants
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Overdue Appointment, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/overdue
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The Right Size, Medical Jokes, Surgical Humor:"John was successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered at work by terrible headaches."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/size
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Exam Professionalism, Medical Jokes, Doctor's Humor:"A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/exam
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Top Ten Signs You Need A New Doctor, Medical Jokes, Top Ten Humor:"- He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk." Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/need
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Taking As Directed, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/directed
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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols
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Too Late, Doctors Jokes, Gallows Humor:"The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/late
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The Circumcision, Medical Jokes, Kids Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/circumcision
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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play
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Feeling Exhausted, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/exhausted
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Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/
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How Long? Emergency Department Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/how
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Virtually Deaf? Getting Older Jokes, Medical Humor:"An elderly gentleman finally invested in a hearing aid after becoming virtually deaf. It was one of those invisible hearing aids. Soon after, he went for a check-up."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/deaf
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She Didn't Make It, Medical Jokes, Emergency Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/it
************************************************** ****
New Secretary, Doctor's Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:"Dr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and very polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/secretary
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************************************************** ****

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