So glad you found us here - By way of introduction I am an alcoholic/addict. I voluntarily referred myself to the California diversion program in September '04 went through an intensive out patient treatment program and have been clean and sober ever since. I have just a little under a year left in the diversion program and my life even with the hassels of diversion is the best it's ever been.
I know you are really worried about working right now - but if your liscense is under investigtion you need to find out what's next. Unless you are certain that you will not test positive don't go looking for a job just now. If you think that going to work somewhere where there are no narcs will solve your problem you are deluding yourself. Until you get treatment for your addiction it will always be a problem. Even with treatment and a solid program of recovery we are all just one drink or pill away from relapse. You can usually collect disability under a diagnosis of depression for about a year while you seek treatment. Then depending on if you are in diversion or probation you will be allowed to return to work -usually in a non-patient care position. Diversion and probation have a lot of headaches attached which you'll soon find out about - but I honestly have to say that I am grateful because were it not for Diversion I know I would be dead today and my son would not have a mother to care for him.
If you want things to go better for you with what ever board of nursing you are dealing with start attending daily AA/NA meetings and get yourself into a facility where you can detox. Detox isn't nearly as bad as people make it out to be. I work in a facility that offers detox and we also have a pretty good 28 day rehab program.
It comes down to one thing only - you have to make being sober the most important goal in your life - more important that work, kids, marriage etc because these are all the things you will lose if you stay in your disease.
Peace and Namaste
Hppy