Sick and Tired

[seashore]

I have been in recovery for 5 years and relasped 6 mo ago. Over and over, I've heard to be truthful .... it is the only way to recovery. Well being truthful landed me more time on my concent order. A relaspe is not unexpected, not getting help is.... are nurses suppose to be honest when the consequences are so grave. Another question...where is the nursing boards responsibility in educating nurses on the dangers of addiction. I mean when we go into recovery, we learn that we were always addicts. We live to use, right. I mean they know who we are when we start. Or at least they could give us a test so we know what we are getting into before we run into our drugs of choice. I mean lets face it, a narc must be screened for past addictions before he is sent into an invironment with drugs. A police officer is screened for past drug use. For those of you who go to extreme, I'm not talking about using crack or herion prior to becoming a nurse. I stayed away from what I throught were drugs..you know illegal. However I did not know entering nursing school that OTC diet pill, allergy tablet, benadryl, or getting drunk accasionally qualified me as a current and future drug addict. I might be stupid but maybe hearing a nurses or two tell my class the horrors that lied ahead if I took that first drug...maybe I would have thought twice. Nursing school did not teach anything about concent orders,rehab,meeting,90/90,aftercare, or your future nurse advocacy group. Doesn't anybody have a responsibility to educate our future nurses to this life threatning danger????

[Enerjan]

So sorry to hear of your relapse. You're right, it is very easy as nurses, to access narcotics. You're having financial difficulty, or marrital strain. We see on a daily basis how that pain med eliminates our patient's pain. We can almost feel it ourselves. I must admit, I have been tempted. But, I have this line that I DO NOT allow myself to cross, and sometimes it would be so easy. But somehow, I know that if I cross that line, I open a door, that takes TREMENDOUS energy to close. It sounds to me like you have that energy. You were clean and sober for 5 years!! That is a huge accomplishment!! Give yourself some credit, you deserve it!! Kisses!!

[sohpie1]

Seeshore--this reply is with genuine sincerity.

"Well being truthful landed me more time on my concent order."

Being truthful didn't land you more time, relapsing did.

"where is the nursing boards responsibility in educating nurses on the dangers of addiction."
Nursing boards are basically the gate keepers of our license. I don't
believe they really understand addiction OR recovery to educate
nurses. Maybe an additionologist or nurse who are also in recovery
would be ideal. If you think about it, we're the experts in using
and understaning recovery.

"I mean when we go into recovery, we learn that we were always addicts. We live to use, right?"
From what my addictionologist has explained (who is also a
recovering addict) that we weren't always addicts but we
always had addict behavior. The only people who are born
as an addict are those babies born addicts from the mother's
using while pregnant.


"Doesn't anybody have a responsibility to educate our future nurses to this life threatning danger????"
I did have a fair amount of additional education during my trauma
nurse training. I clearly remember listening to the presentation
thinking "yeah, I'm taking Xanax, pain pills, sleeping pills.....and some-
times I take a few extra......but they are all prescribed." Deep down
I already thought I might have "an issue".....but not a "problem." I
was already rationalizing/justifying my use and I didn't hit bottom
for another 3 years.
And yes, if education would help just one nurse
then it might help many patients who are at risk.

I keep wondering if the program "Addiction" 1 night a wk will have
an effect on the general public. I pray it does. Sometimes
I wish AA and NA could be promoted. (attraction vs promotion is
what the programs prefer) I did not know about NA until detox.
Every night at the end of our meeting we pray for the addict who
will die never knowing the life of recovery. That brings tears to my
eyes nearly every night.

I pray your recovery goes well. You should be proud you've
owned up to the relapse. You don't have a cloud of dishonesty
hanging over your head. Hugs, Sophie

[nurse2stik]

When you are an addict. Which I have been ALL my life. The only solution is to not be around item addiction of choice. This has been my only true solution to that problem of relapse.

Did you know a 60 lb monkey will risk getting stung very many times to get some stickfuls of honey from a bee hive. We all want to have that better feeling in life (joy)

[hppygr8ful]

The Big Book tells us that we can go anywhere we have a legitimate non-using/drinking reason to be and not fear relapse as long as we work a strong program and keep our spiritual house in order.

Over and over - when people relapse - it comes back to weakness in that person's program. My question to the frequent relasper is always - Are you honestly working your steps- maintaining absolute honesty in all your affairs? Have you truely surrendered and worked a 4th 5th and 6th step. Are you being of service to your recovering community. If you cannot answer these questions in the affirnative - that is why you continue to relapse!

12 step recovery is a rediculously simple way to stay sober but it's not easy - it requires us to do things and look at aspects of our character that we would rather not see. When you break that down and accept what you are - the rest becomes 2nd nature.

Peace and Namaste