[Judyd]

I have been tied up in such a mess and have not posted for some time. I have been checking and reading often though. My siblings and I were abused as children and I have been able with lots of help to move on from the effects. I have been out of all abusive environments for ever 25 years. The problem is most of my siblings are still caught up in it. One is in a very dangerous situation, I now have one of her daughters 20 Y/O living with me and recently helped her mother to get out of the situation. She is so warped and has been existing for 30 years so controlled most people could not even imagine. After about 2 weeks away she went back. I have been devistated. I know how mind warping it can be. I so wanted to help her break away and be safe. She believes she can not exist without him to make all her decisions now. Her children are all torn and so have all my siblings been. We are now a family divided into to sides and trying hard to love allowing the differences. Any comments or advise. I have read and studied abuse as a nurse many times, but it is so hard to keep my own perspective during a time like this. Nursing has a very high statistic of co-dependency.My Mother and two of my sisters are nurses.Anyone else want to share stories, outcomes, and how they cope. Love to hear from you. Maybe we can strengthen others with the interplay.

[ICULYNN]

ALl you can do is offer her a safe haven and it sounds as if you have already done that. Just keep it open for her, you cannot force her decision, nor force her not to go back. Emotionally I know it is difficult, but YOU need to realize YOUR limitations ... otherwise, you are the one exhibiting the co-dependant behavior. Just offer that safe haven, and when you worry ..... pray ... that is always the best anyone can do.