Stressed about balancing career/family planning

[DressageRN2007]

Hi all, I am new to the board. I am a ADN student in my 3rd out of 5 semesters, graduating in May 2007. So far my program has been great - small rural community college & a lot less pressure than I had feared!

In any case, I have come to the point in my life where I'm suddenly getting concerned about how to fit in having a family. I'm 28 and my husband is 34; we've been married 6 years. My mother (who is a big support to us both financially & emotionally & would love to help with the childcare, is 66, so I would prefer to have a child while she is young enough to help and enjoy).

I was originally toying with the idea of trying to get pregnant in the fall so I'd have the baby in the summer after school ends before beginning my first job. However, a lot of people have advised me against this. Alternatively, I could try to conceive during my first year as a nurse - this would put me in line to have a baby when I am 30. My concern with that plan is that I don't know how difficult it would be to combine the first year of nursing with a pregnancy, stress-wise. Still, I don't want to wait longer than this for age/planning reasons.

I am really stressed out about making this decision - keep thinking I've made a decision and then I undoubtedly start rethinking it! I'm worried that taking a break after school will decrease my employment opportunities & be too risky, but I'm also worried that I'll never be able to handle my first year carrying a pregnancy. I'm also concerned that things are only going to get harder physically as I get into my early 30's. I'm not prepared to wait 2 or 3 more years in any case, so I have to make some kind of plan.

Can anyone advise on my situation or share personal experiences? Boy, I wish hubby could just carry the baby...would make life a whole lot easier!

[faviola]

First year of nursing can be stressfull...but i think if you feel that your ready to start a family you can get it done..sounds likeyou have a supportive family so i think thats already a plus.

[nursinghumor]

You bring up some important issues and it is a difficult choice, when to start a family.

My wife and I are both RNs, started a family late in life and had trouble making it happen.

From a career perspective:

I'd say get established in your career. The first few years after graduation are the most important, I'd work at least 2 years after. You'll cement all that you learned in Nursing school and gain valuable experience that will open doors later.

Once you've got two years acute care experience under your belt, you can always cut back, go part-time or quit entirely knowing you'll still be able to go back later.

If you have kids immediately after graduation, and don't work in the field, it will be more difficult to get a job later.

It is a sad fact that 6/10 marriages end in divorce. Having a career to fall back on will serve you well. Nursing especially well because it has the most flexible shift - days, night, evenings, weekends, etc.

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From a biological perspective:

The longer you wait to have kids, the more chances of infertility issues. More women these days wait till they have established careers before they have kids. More women are having fertility issues, finding they can't easily have kids later in life.

From that perspective, the sooner the better.

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The best of both worlds would be to start your nursing career, preferably in a hospital medical/surgical environment where you'll work your tail off and get the most experience, deal with the greatest number of issues, diseases, drugs and patients. Then after your first year, think about kids, going part-time or per-diem while your kids are young. I would not stop working completely.

You'll still have your foot in the door while being able to enjoy your kids. You'll know that you can go back at any time with plenty of options.

Hope that is helpful.

Andrew Lopez, RN
http://www.4nursing.com