[susan121]

i am not sure how to talk to him about it or start? and ideas

[kimmiejs]

Originally Posted by susan121

i am not sure how to talk to him about it or start? and ideas

Here are some links to look at. I think you will find some good ideas here. I hope this helps. I have twin daughters that are age 5 and I have already started talking to them about many different things like smoking and drugs to name a few. It is amazing how receptive a child can be

http://www.parents-talk.com/expertsa...a_ch_0003.html

http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/gro...t_puberty.html

http://www.siecus.org/parent/radio/radi0040.html

http://www.talkingwithkids.org/sex.html

[andreabenetrn]

How old is your son? It is important to find out how much he already knows. Make sure he knows that you are available to him in any situation that he has questions in. Does he already have physical signs of puberty?

[Meatball]

First off, I'd like to tell you that I am only 19. Since left the question rather vague, I will point out a few things that I, myself have gone through.
I have tried drugs, yes. I have had sexual intercourse, yes. I have drank alcohol, yes.
Now let me take the time to tell you a bit about what exactly happened with me and these things I have described, as your son will be going through these stages at some point in his life (be it sooner or later).
My parents are not rich, but we do not live in poverty either. I don't think I could've had been raised any better way. My parents always informed me of the dangers/actions and reactions of what might happen; be it drugs, sex, violence etc. They never pressured me into anything, nor was I ever. They were never /very/ strict on me (keeping me home, groundings, phisical harm for obediance, and they never kept me from hanging out with friends or going to parties).
Here's what they told me:
If I were to go out and party (this was before my first time drinking alcohol or doing anything of the sort), that I must call them to check in; once I got there, and if I left. I would leave a number for them, and I would call if I were staying the night.
They never asked me if alcohol or drugs were present at parties. Come to think about it, if I were at a party, on the phone with my mother and she asked me ... I think i might be a little hessitant to tell her. Feeling like I were trapped in a way. She always left the decisions up to me. I felt this way the best way.
I'll explain why:
When I lost my virginity, it was at the age of 17. I did use protection that my mother had bought me just incase. A few days after it happened, I actualy told my mother that I had sexual intercourse. She then bought me more condoms. This helped me (and I'll explain why). She did not support me having sex, nor did she condone it. Her buying me condoms were a great help to me. I believe (and I'm sure most of you have this same view on this) if someone wants to do something, they will. If I wanted to have sex so badly, I would've. Now I, myself didn't think of having sex without a condom because I never would've had the chance. When I was running low on concoms, I would tell my mother and she would purchase them for me. I will tell you one thing though...if I were a random male, and my mother wasn't open to me like mine was... I would've had sex with, or without a condom. If I didn't have a condom, I probably would've done it anyway (not me, but if I were another male). See, I was raised with my parents being open to me and not holding me back. I was open to them just as they were to me.
Looking back on how I was raised... I wouldn't change it; at all.

I hope this helps you, even it was just a little bit. Feel free to ask questions if you would like. I'm here.

[FrostbyteRN]

I couldn't agree with Meatball any more! Being a male growing up is a very very difficult process. I, myself, had two very loving and supportive parents including a mother who gave up a teaching career to be a stay at home mom. I was raised with respect, good manners, and a strong set of morals and beliefs. I too fell into a wrong crowd and dabbled in drugs, alcohol and sex. I'm now 24, been clean for 4 years, and still in college.

To get to the point now that i've probably confused you.... no matter what you do, no matter how good of a parent you are, no matter how much you're home, you kids are going to do what they're going to do. So my best advice to you, is starting now, keep a good, open relationship with your son. Make sure he knows that you are there to listen, and answer questions. The worst thing you can do is be judgemental or just to conclusions. If he knows he can talk to you about anything, even if its something that he knows you would say no to, he will. Communication is soo important at this age and stage of development. He is learning his place in life, society, and how to interact with the people around him and his environment. With all of the phycial changes going on in his life, there is no need to add further stress on his shoulders by lecturing him about the dangers of drugs, sex, etc. Be proactive and teach him. Tell him how to be safe in case he finds himself in one of those situations. I'm not saying go out and buy him condoms or buy him a pipe and show him how to smoke, but be honest with him. Stressing how "bad" thing are, or being all negative will close down the lines of communication you have with your son and from that point on he will hear your words, but he will not be listening. I hope this helps... I wish you the very best of luck.

Rob

[cntrybleu]

Originally Posted by susan121

i am not sure how to talk to him about it or start? and ideas

My mother or father never talked about it with me, but only taught me about being responsible for everything it seemed. I think I had responsbility drilled in my head about all matters all the time, but we never talked about puberty. I think the responsiblility lessons taught me about life and all. Only thing I suggest is maybe let nature take its course, and if he has a girlfriend, maybe talk about responsibility clues on birth control, and that your there to talk about anything with him whatever the problem may be.