[LauraRNwv]

Ooops sorry about the sig

[timbrown]

[ QUOTE ]
WindingRoad said:
I personally like the chocolate cake trap.. I go to the cafe and buy lunch or whatever and get a big piece of chocolate cake... I go right up to the person who's been in my face and say.."Oh dear, I ate too much and I can't eat this cake. I thought of you and want you to enjoy it.."

These meanies can't handle nice..LOLLL

WR,,, three commas for Becca

[/ QUOTE ]

WindingRoad:

Back in 2000, I was hired as a computer professional by a company that I think just wanted me to do a short project. When I was over, I was done.

I'm thankful though because my wife told me that the company she works for (a medical supply firm) needed a driver. This is the job that helped me come to the persuasion of changing professions.

The guy who was president of this company had a severe temper problem, liked to swear at his employees, call them his "minions" and motivate them via intimidation. At one point, he had even been arrested AT WORK for assault; he was poised to deck someone. He had someone call the police to have someone else hauled off, but by the time they showed up, he started getting violent. I remember watching him being escored out of the building to the local public safety building...hoisted on his own petard. Remember, this guy is in the healthcare profession!!! He's a licensed Pharmacist.

At one point in my time at his firm, he informed me that between 8:30 and 5, he was my "lord and master" . No, I don't think so.

Well, about 6 months after that, I was making appointments with concentrator patients to do routine checks on the units. What happened was a P.R. crisis when one woman said (angrily and understandibly) that "It'll be difficult for you to check my husband's unit because he's been dead two months." Oh. Oh. Anyway. I apologized profusely and explained that our communications needed to be fixed and that I'd take it to the boss.

His response? Yelling, of course. "We can't know when our patients die!" Yeah. Right. And I always wondered why we put on clown suits and randomly picked up oxygen equipment for no good reason. Plus too, the pick-up forms require a REASON why it was picked up.

Anyway, he fed me a stream of profanity and personal abuse, to which I calmly said (over the cel phone) "You know, as adults, I think we both deserve more respect than to talk this way". That was the last straw for him. Of course I wasn't surprised. He had been trying to get me to quit for some time. Unfortunately though, I had to go back to turn in my keys, etc. It seems like I sat there an hour (probably less) listening to him rant, spitting through his clenched teeth, and POUNDING his fists . And as I kept my cool (Praise God!) he only got worse.

He even demanded some things of me, threatening me (as a FORMER employee) to fire my wife (who works in payroll) unless I did what he wanted. The silliness of it is that the D.O.N. was there as was my supervisor who could have been witnesses to a blackmail lawsuit. And of course, his door was open and plenty of others in cubicles could hear him.

I pity him. One of the last things I did before I left was I stared him right between the eyes and told him that. He's nothing more than a "school yard bully in a mid-fifties body".

I'm not kidding; God gets the glory for my being able to remain detached from this mess. A few years ago I wouldn't have been able to handle it...and ten years ago I was much like him.

And now I can look back and KNOW that I really am interested in healthcare because I was able to stick it out through all his nonsense. I've recently been interviewed for a CNA position at a nursing home maybe 6 blocks from here. They asked me to explain the big change in career. To my pleasure I could explain truthfully and convincingly that I was interested in the profession for what it is, and that I wasn't looking for an easy ride. And I learned to keep my focus on the positives of my job and not let the "nasties" drag me down.

But I'll never forget how he got so much madder as I got quieter. He wanted control and couldn't have it.

tim

[priya]

Hi all,

I am a new grad (May 2004) working in a telemetry unit. I had a preceptor who is a real bully and constantly nagged me for the way I spoke with the doctors and my pump handling skills. She rarely encouraged me and ridiculed me most of the time. After about 14 weeks of this torture, I confronted her in the nursing station when she asked me to change my so-called "high-strung" personality. She took this personally and took a bunch of other nurses who supported her to our unit director. The issue was settled by the director through asking me to continue my rest of the orientation with another nurse who still supported my original preceptor, but, who also agreed to take me under her wing. My orientation is over now and recently, the second preceptor jumped on me for an innocent comment that I passed to my 12 hour working partner (another co-worker). The issue was this - A month back, she called my home and yelled at me for not having started an antecubital IV for a patient who was supposed to go for a Sprial CT scan of her chest. I apologized since it slipped my mind (I work nights and she called me when I was off work and sleeping at around 1030 a.m.) and everything went normal till the recent conflict. My partner in the 12 hour shift gave me her cell phone number to reach her at any time during the night if I had any questions regarding the patients. One morning, while I was reporting about her patients, my partner jokingly asked as to why I did not call her on her cell phone and I jokingly replied that it was not my policy to call my fellow workers during their off time unless or otherwise there was a dire emergency to do so. This second preceptor who overheard my reply presumed that I was digging on her for having called me at my residence regarding the IV start for CT scan. She went to the charge nurse for the night and started complaining about my attitude and irresponsible reply and how she thought that I was picking on her. I was right there when she talked to the charge nurse and I said to her, "Can we talk about this in the medication room?" and followed her to the med room. I explained that my reply was impersonal and not targeted on anyone and she burst off saying "You do not get along with any co-worker and da da da...." I broke out crying since I had a stressful night on the floor and sincerely, did not know as to why she took it so personally. The night charge nurse stood there and tried to resolve the issue when this preceptor of mine said,"Let's drop it" and I had to walk away. She has told the other nurses about this problem and everyone looks at me like I am an enemy. I do not know how to deal with this. I already have had a bad start and they have labelled me as "stubborn and strong willed". How can I prove them that I am not the kind that they have labelled me to be? Please help

[1mg.epi]

Some times a units culture is so resistant to change that wanting to prove something to them can make it worse. Working critical care for a long time I can tell you. There are some real jerks that work there. I have seen new nurses come in and I felt they were doing well. But, I would see them beaten down I have seen new nurses chased out of units and leave to other positions and do well. Leaving is not giving up. Some times you have to try something else.

[udali]

And in Nursing, we still eat our young, and kill our wounded.

[1mg.epi]

That was putting it simple and elegant. (mmmmmmm fresh meat)

[nursinghumor]

You think we would have learned by now. Now more than ever we need to give new graduates every chance possible to succeed.

Andrew Lopez, RN
http://www.4nursing.com

[rnsince83]

I have a friend who was hit in the chest by a chart thrown by a doctor. She had a bruise on her chest which her husband noticed. She reported it to her nurse manager who accused her of being insubordinate to the doctor (not true).
I think the important thing is to have a plan: If something like this should happen, make a big deal out of it (fall to the floor writhing in pain), stop working immediately, make sure you have plenty of witnesses, seek treatment (preferably not in your own hospital because whose side do you think they'll take?), report it to the police right then and there and file charges, write him up to the chief of staff, and if things are not settled amicably (a letter of apology at least) without any repercussions on you and your job, then hire the biggest badass lawyer and sue the doctor AND your institution. Another important thing in being prepared is to have documented previous bad behavior (keep a notebook with day/date/time/witnesses/description
of what happened). The folks that act up usually have a history. I say enough is enough.

[michigancna]

I guess confrontation is in the job description, it is to be expected. I don't expect it from coworkers though. I do have mine and my wife's last name blocked out on the name tag. It is unnerving to run in to released patients while out shopping, especially the psych ones. I guess the ol' cop reflexes are still with me, I keep my distance until I determine the level of cooperation in a patient. I try to position myself in a way that even if they turn uncooperative, I am not there. Some Juijitsu/self defense training might be a good idea.

[nursinghumor]

Occasionally you might have to deal with the violent patient. The bulk of the "confrontation" is verbal and emotional abuse directed to you from patients, doctors and other nurses.

Unless you see it, recognize it and nip it in the bud, it can make life extremely unpleasant.

For newer nurses see our section on "Eating Our Young."
http://www.nursefriendly.com/young

Also interesting are Nurses Views of The Nursing Profession:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/views

Andrew Lopez, RN
http://www.4nursing.com