To Smart Women Everywhere, Battle of The Sexes

[nursinghumor]

http://www.nursinghumor.com/smart
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1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde.--Dolly Parton

2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. --Erica Jong

3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. --Rita Rudner

4. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. --Rita Rudner

5. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. --Wendy Liebman

6. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. --Erma Bombeck

7. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. --Sue Grafton

8. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. --Roseanne Barr

9. I think -- therefore I'm single. --Lizz Winstead

10. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. --Elayne Boosler

11. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. --Maryon Pearson

12. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. --Gilda Radner

13. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. --Margaret Thatcher

14. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -- Gloria Steinem

15. Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. --Gloria Steinem

16. I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. --Marie Corelli

17. "Nagging" is the repetition of unpalatable truths. --Baroness Edith-Summerskill

18. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? --Linda Ellerbee

19. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. --Zsa Zsa Gabor

20. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. --Eleanor Roosevelt

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Following Orders, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Gallows Humor:
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Top Fourteen Things PMS Stands For, Top Ten Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:
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