Where Do I Go From Here?

[noah04]

hello! i am new to this site, but not to recovery. I am 2 1/2 years sober after a very reckless year which did not leave me fit to practice nursing.

once i decided to get clean and sober, which has worked well for me, things have been looking up, i think it's more my attitude now, rather than the actual situation, and I am thankful for everything that I have and I have faith that things will turn out as they should. I do, however, have a slew of questions in regards to the nursing boards, reinstatement, and returning to work. any advice is helpful, so here goes...

i lived and worked in "state A" where i racked up 2 dui's and diverted for personal use. (all in 1 year) my legal issues are over now, thankfully, and i was never charged with diverting. I gave all my information and medical records to the diversion program. We moved to "state B" where i was also licensed (lost our house etc in first state b/c of all this) then i was informed by first state that i was no longer eligible for diversion program b/c i was no longer a resident, so my stuff went to the Boards, and I was suspended indefinately pending sucessful completion of state A's recovery program. the recovery program said they would take recovery info from second state, so I started the paperwork all over again. i go before the board (State B) in 2 weeks. (eek!!). I hope they will work with me on satisfying state A's recovery center, then i can petition for reinstatement there, and then finally petition for reinstatement for medicare programs. Then I can go about finding a felon-friendly workplace :rolleyes:

1) am i wasting my time? I feel that they would have permanently suspended me if they didn't think my career was salvageable.

2) because MY federal healthcare privileges have been revoked (cannot be reinstated without state A), where can i work? Are there any places that an RN can work that have no funding from the government?

I know this process is going to take another 3 years at best, and I haven't even considered who will hire me in the first place with my track record. Please tell me if i am putting too much faith into this process and maybe I need to find a new profession? I was a very good nurse once, and I miss it!!

thanks!

[Native Texan]

Yes it is worth it. I have been c/s for almost 5 yrs now. I tried to geographical cure, up and left everything, house etc. moved to another state.
Trouble caught up with me shortly there. My license was revoked in the state I ran away from and my license in the other state was surrendered. Well, I went through inpatient for 88 days of pure hell, another 1.5 years out patient. Was monitered by the board for three total years. I told the other state to stick it in the mean time, I couldn't deal with both at the same time. I decided I wanted to go home. I felt there was no hope because my license was revoked in my home state. I started the process. Records, documentation, all of my recovery stuff I had kept. Thank God! I sent a huge stack of papers to the board. (They had sent me a list of required materials before they would even talk to me.) I had to write a "paper" stating if I was fit, about my recovery and why should my license be reinstated. I sent everything to them. They called and scheduled me a hearing. I was so nervous. I also new if I was given a chance to talk to the board in person they would see I was sincere. We drove 1500 miles for the hearing. My husband was at my side and my two young children. I had never been so scared in my life. I felt like my future was at the mercy of the board of nursing. I had to go into this huge exec. conference room and sit at the head of the table. There was 10 of them. They were all staring at me it felt like! They each asked my a couple of questions. Nothing that I couldn't answer. I had nothing to hide. I was lead out of the room for about 20 mins. They called me back in. I thought I was going to faint! They fully reinstated my license with the exception that I had to take two classes given by the board. I was crying tears of joy! I actually drove back down to complete the classes before we moved. I have worked in dialysis for a total of 7 years and love it. I worked in dialysis while being monitored by the board. My manager was nonjudgemental, she gave me a second chance at my true love, nursing. I went on one interview before we moved, I was offered on the spot, she never thought twice when she saw that my license had issues in the past. She saw who I am now and what I have to offer. I know of many nurses in recovery working in dialysis. I work with one now, she is great. So, don't be so hard on yourself, fellow nurses aren't as judgemental as you may think. If they don't want you because of your past, and see you for who you are now, it's their loss! As for the medicare thing, I'm not sure how that works. I never had to deal with that. If you have a dream, follow it. It will be hard work and emotional. It's a true test of your inner strength. Very few people realize what I went thru to get both of my licenses back and in good standing. So, don't give up! Good luck and God Bless!

[noah04]

Thank you so much for your reply. It gave me the encouragement I needed to keep my chin up. I believe that everything happens for a reason and this will only make me stronger, regardless of what happens Friday. I feel that I am well prepared for my meeting. I am afraid of the types of questions they will ask. (I am not a very verbal person, nodding yes and no has gotten me pretty far in life)

part of my Board ordered things were Random drug screens, (of course). I had them through my family DR of 2 years, he knows the history, etc. When I went to the office to pick up the copies of the tests for the past year I was shocked to find one had come back positive for amphetamines and TCA's!!!!! (i didn't follow up with the results after each test b/c I was in no way worried that they wouldn't all come back negative for everything. ) My Dr. had the sample retested at another lab which came back negative (same sample-same day). This was not the first time he has had that problem with the first lab he said.
I addressed this briefly with the papers I submitted but after reading some of the other recovering nurses remarks about false positives I am starting to be concerned. I made sure that my medical information release was up to date with the Dr. in case they wanted to contact him directly. I guess we'll see...

thank you again, i'll let you know how it goes!

[Native Texan]

Best of luck to you. Just answer with your heart and you won't have anything to worry about!

[RN4Recovery]

Hi,
I am new to this forum. I am posting a reply here because I am in the middle of a similar circumstance. I was "intervened upon" in North Carolina 20 months ago, and have been clean and sober ever since. I moved to California a few months into the NC Alternative Program, having confirmed that NC would accept CA's monitoring program (I turned myself in to CA's Diversion Program when I arrived). However, I chickened out and decided to take my chances with discipline after I learned this was possible...at a mandatory nurse support group meeting!! My NC license was then suspended, revoked, and voluntarily withdrawn. A year later I received my letter of accusation from the CA board and it was time to face the music. I was fortunate however. I had continued to submit to random drug screens with the NC testing company, and I have kept attendance slips from my AA meetings. I stayed in recovery where knew I belonged (and always will). Because of this, I was able get the accusations withdrawn and am now beginning California's Diversion program (3-5 years). I will meet with a Diversion Evaluation Committee in two days. They will decide whether they will credit my time in recovery so far, or make me start at the beginning. It's been a challenge to keep my serenity over this. You know...the control thing. But like you, I trust that things will work out they was they are supposed to.

During my period of voluntary drug testing, I have had two failed tests. They were both due to dilute specimens. The first time was because when I got to the center I couldn't give enough urine for a split sepcimen. They threw out my urine and I had to sit there and drink water for two hours until I could go again...hence the dilute urine. The second time it was because I drank coffee right before. I had gotten away with it at least 20 other times...complacency rears it's ugly head! Anyway, I know I will have to answer to that in two days. I plan on just being honest. Not defensive. Really and truly...as hard as it is to accept...things will work out the way they are supposed to. Aren't you glad you gave a split specimen?

As far as the job issue...I confided in my present employer when they hired me that discipline was "comin' down the pipe," and why. They appreciated my honesty and hired me anyway. I was able to work full time in the ED until I entered the Diversion Program. Presently, (and until the Committee decides my fate) I am unable to use my license. My employer found something for me to do that is not considered "practicing nursing" and I can do that until the Board lets me practice again. I know that I have been extremely lucky. I keep waiting for something devastating to happen.

I am thinking about your federal reimbursement issue. My employer has me auditing ED charts for accuracy with regard to billing/coding (not a tough job, learned it in a few days). I work with the coders to make sure that we are charging for everything we can and not charging for things that we can't. For instance, I make sure that injections and IV infusions are documented in a way that is maximally (but ethically) reimbursable and talk to individual nurses about their documentation issues. I also look at all procedures done in the ED to make sure we are coding those correctly. This position is making the hospital money, since it really takes a nurse's knowledge and experience to correctly interprete nurses notes and physician dictation and make sense out of it for coding purposes. I have heard that some hospitals have caught on to this. Perhaps this is something you can look at. In fact, I have heard that some travel companies are hiring nurses for just this purpose. Again, not rocket science. Doesn't require the RN, just the RN knowledge.

Have a fabulous Day!!

[noah04]

thank you for sharing your story and congratulations on your sobriety!! It has been very reassuring to see other nurses who have initially tried to "escape" and that other nursing boards are willing to work with them when they make the decision to work at getting their license back. Please let me know what happens at your meeting.

i really think AA has helped me learn how to cope with things and appreciate what I have. It is a blessing and I am very thankful for it. I certainly enjoy the little things now, and try not to stress about the big picture. I am very happy at putting my whole heart into being a housewife and a mom, but as my baby gets bigger and less dependent on me, I have more spare time and I know eventually I will want to work again.

i didn't know you werent supposed to drink coffee before a test!!! eek! i live on coffee now. I'm glad my Dr had the good sense not to take the first test for what it was worth. Did the North Carolina company allow you to submit tests from California lab? The recovery center said they could not monitor me from another state, and that is what started action against my license. The way that i understood the state funding issue, is that i cannot be employed ANYWHERE doing ANY job if they receive federal reimbursement for medicare, medicaid etc. I would work in housekeeping if they would let me! This will prevent me from working any basically any sort of service work, not just if i use my license. (i have considered going back to school to be a counselor- it is possible for me to get financial aid, and probably get licensed, but I couldn't work) I will look into it after Friday (not getting worked up about the next phase yet, one step at a time!)

Thank you for your reply and Good Luck!

[RN4Recovery]

Hi again,
Your situation really sounds like a tough one! But I am certain that there has to be an avenue for you to get your federal provider priveleges restored. After a documented 2 1/2 years C/S (Congrats by the way), you have proven that you are sincere in your recovery. Have you read your state Board's Bulletin? When I thought I was going to be disciplined, I considered hiring an attorney, and in doing my research, read my two state's' lists of discplinary actions. There are still nurses out there killing patients with potassium!! They are getting probation, remedial education, and THEIR PRACTICE BACK!! If you haven't read this publication (I got mine online) I encourage you to do so. It will put your infractions into perspective.

When I thought about the hassle and humiliation of a permanently disciplined license and/or 3 to 5 years of monitoring, I seriously considered leaving the field as well. I had to consider that the thing about nursing that hooked me to begin with was the adrenalin rush of critical care (another addiction) and that perhaps I should look for something healthier for me. My self-esteem was all wrapped up in being an "ER NURSE." I looked into other professions, and I too considered Drug and Alcohol Counseling. I didn't like the pay. So, this fall I enrolled in a Clinical Nurse Specialist program, and I will likely teach after that.

Have you considered teaching? Even if you could not get on at a university oe community college, there are organizations that hire freelance nurses to give CEU seminars (Med-Ed is one). I have even thought about developing a course on addicted health care workers and hiring myself out as a lecturer.

Let me tell you. The shortage of nursing instructors is considered more critical than the shortage of nurses, because we are running out of qualified people to teach the pool of potential nurses. That being said...colleges of nursing have been given lots and lots of stae and federal grant money to help nurses become nursing instructors. If you don't have your BSN, there are programs and funds to get you straight from the ADN to the MSN. I have looked at pretty much every angle, and would be happy to share any and all info with you. You are not working, so you've got the time. And if there are no schools nearby, take heart...there are several really good online/distance ed programs available. Most schools require you to have a valid RN license, but I have spoken with two prominent universities who were willing to work with me in case I didn't have mine, as long as I would have it by the time I did any clinicals.

By virtue of being a nurse, you have the key to unlock a lot of doors. I have found that schools, employers, and even the Boards of Nursing have been willing to cut me some slack when they have seen my sincere interest in strong, honest recovery. Also, I believe that I have gained a lot of credibility just by going back to school. I tried once before (in 1999) but found that it interfered with my drinking and using

I apologize for my wordiness. I am just really glad to have found another nurse who really can understand my difficulties, who is firmly in recovery, and who may benefit in some small way from my experience with boards of nursing.

Hope all is well. I will post after my Evaluation Committee meeting tomorrow.

"...and acceptance is the key to all my worries today."

[RN4Recovery]

Hi again,
Your situation really sounds like a tough one! But I am certain that there has to be an avenue for you to get your federal provider priveleges restored. After a documented 2 1/2 years C/S (Congrats by the way), you have proven that you are sincere in your recovery. Have you read your state Board's Bulletin? When I thought I was going to be disciplined, I considered hiring an attorney, and in doing my research, read my two state's list of discplinary actions. There are still nurses out there killing patients with potassium!! They are getting probation, remedial education, and THEIR PRACTICE BACK!! If you haven't read this publication (I got mine online) I encourage you to do so. It will put your infractions into perspective.

When I thought about the hassle and humiliation of a permanently disciplined license and/or 3 to 5 years of monitoring, I seriously considered leaving the
field as well. I had to consider that the thing about nursing that hooked me to begin with was the adrenalin rush of critical care (another addiction) and that perhaps I should look for something healthier for me. My self-esteem was all wrapped up in being an "ER NURSE." I looked into other professions, and I too considered Drug and Alcohol Counseling. I didn't like the pay. So, this fall I enrolled in a Clinical Nurse Specialist program, and I will likely teach after that. Have you considered teaching? Even if you could not get on at a university oe community college, there are organizations that hire freelance nurses to give CEU seminars (Med-Ed is one). I have even thought about developing a course on addicted health care workers and hiring myself out as a lecturer.

Let me tell you. The shortage of nursing instructors is considered more critical than the shortage of nurses, because we are running out of qualified people to teach potential pool of nurses. That being said...colleges of nursing have been given lots and lots of money to help nurses become instructors. If you don't have your BSN, there are programs and funds to get you straight from the ADN to the MS. I have looked at every angle, and would be happy to share any and all info with you. You are not working, so you've got the time. And if there are no schools nearby, take heart...there are several really good online/distance ed programs available. Most schools require you to have a valid RN license, but I have spoken with two prominent universities who were willing to work with me in case I didn't have mine, as long as I would have it by the time I did any clinicals.

By virtue of being a nurse, you have the key to unlock a lot of doors. I have found that schools, employers, and even the Board of Nursing have been willing to cut me some slack when they have seen my sincere interest in strong, honest recovery.

I apologize for my wordiness. I am just really glad to have found another nurse who really can understand my difficulties, who is firmly in recovery, and who may benefit in some small way from my experience with boards of nursing.

Hope all is well. I will post after my Evaluation Committee meeting tomorrow.

"...and acceptance is the key to all my worries today."

[noah04]

hello! i am finally home from the Board meeting. I waited forever, thank heavens my husband was with me to keep me company while i waited. I got really nervous and stuttered my way through the entire thing, but they were able to see my situation. They made it possible for me to be able to be monitored through my first state which will allow me to petition them for reinstatement, get my federal privilidges reinstated, and then I have to petition this state again with all the information when i get it back.

soo...
Now i have intake and i am in the same boat you are, waiting to see if they will credit me for my years of sobriety or start from the beginning. either way i will be able to do it!! so the end is still pretty far off, but Phase I is complete.

after this i am looking at a probabtion status, with workplace monitoring no doubt. i don't know what that entails entirely, but i bet i can guess:rolleyes:
at least i am being given a second chance.

at the meeting i was told that many colleges will not allow you to return if your nursing license isn't active. she did say that they might work with me though, i have to look into it too. i found a college nearby that has online classes. hopefully within the next 6 months i will be able to be reinstated in at least one state, enough to allow me to go back to college. as you said, I have the time. Now i have a specific path to follow and that helps settle my insecurities a little.

i hope your meeting went well!

[RN4Recovery]

That is great news!! It is good to hear that some Boards will listen to reason! And what a relief it must be to know that your federal health care priveleges can be recovered. Good for you.

My meeting went pretty well. My Board has credited me the 20 months of sobriety I have under my belt. They are not going to allow me to practice just yet however. They say that although I am clearly an "individual" in recovery, their job is to make me a "nurse" in recovery. I think that what that really means is that they want me to be free to jump through the Diversion hoops :rolleyes: But that is okay. I got myself here. I will be okay for another three months. They are considering allowing me to take a great job in my hospital at that time.

About the school thing. Both Universities I applied to "require" a valid RN license. One of these schools is 2nd in the WORLD for their graduate nursing program. They were both willing to work with me. I simply contacted a real live faculty member rather than an admissions person. I encourage you to be persistant and proactive. Good luck with the school thing.

God Bless