[gratefulfan215]

I'm in Pennsylvania's VRP and I had a positive urine result in the beginning of february. Now I'm not allowed to work as an RN for approx 3 months. Thank God, my boss likes me and offered to keep me on as an nursing aide until I can work as an RN again which is a huge blessing, but I still feel frustrated. My casemanager said she is sending me a letter with more info, but she wouldn't say what. Any ideas what that may say? I think they may extend my contract, but what else may they do? It was one slip up and I have been clean since. Please respond someone, no one seems to reply to my posts...?

[jenniferleigh]

which is it, did you have a positive urine for drugs or did you forget to call. you kind of contradicted yourself there. only you know the answer to those questions, but i urge you to be honest. no judgement here, i have just been where u are. i was using for a whole year while on contract, never dropped dirty, but ended up telling on myself to the board from a detox center, after i had been fired for "poor documentation." well truth be told i was jacked up at work for like a year. i knew how not to drop dirty, and i thought if i just ran the scam, and when i got of that ****ing contract then i wouldn't have to use. How can you be mad at the monitoring program, when you were the one who messed up? when i reported myself to them, they took my license away for 1 year, suspended it actually and then i had to re-apply. so if you only have 3 months dude, where is your gratitude. maybe this is the jarring thing that will wake your ass up and get real with this thing. do i hate the nursing board, hell yes, you think penn is touch, try coming to nc. the south is like a prison. needless to say i am not working in nursing today. not because of them, but because i didnt want to play the game anymore. i know i cannont dispense and not end up using my self. that is me. i know there are people that do. but if you have not even gotten to the part where you are dispensing again and there are already problems, you might want to take a look at if you are doing all of this for the right reasons. go into clinical research. more money, safe and no drugs!!! dont worry what other people think, you are LUCKY you even gave a job to go back to. i looked for a job for a year, on contract. down here, if you **** up in the alternative program, they make you wait a year and re-apply, then rehab again and $5000 later not including the cost of rehab, you get put into the program the felons are in. not a judgement-god knows i did enough feloneous activity to still be in an orange jumpsuit, but all the same, your license is not a credit card looking thing it is a scroll of restrictions and such, and your name flshes with warning signs on the bon website. so the way i see it buddy, is that you are lucky. but luck runs out after a while, be mad at yourself, the disease, whatever. the board only cares about one thing and that is covering their ass when it comes to protecting the public. it is like getting mad at a soda machine. there is no one there that cares if you really ****ed up or not. usually we are most mad at something outside of ourselves when the finger should really be pointing at us. use it as a wake up call to really get right with things, if you dont loose the resentment, it will get you trust me,ive been there. xoxo j

[gratefulfan215]

Jennifer,
thanks for that input, maybe i wasn't clear. I had a dirty urine and forgot to call in on a different day. Two sepearate incidences there, not the same day. Anyway, I am grateful that this may be only 3 months, even though I haven't got anything in writing saying that. I got 60 days today and am just concentrating on my recovery. I guess I'm lucky I wasn't using pills or any opiates or anything so I'm not tempted to ever take meds and never have, not that that matters in terms of addiction but hopefully it will aid me in getting back to work faster

[jenniferleigh]

happy to hear some gratitude in your computer voice. i know it sucks duke, but you have no idea just how good you have it. don't mess it up because trust me it does get worse. and i am not even talking about going back out, i am just talking about dealing with the rules and regs of the various boards. read some of the post from other sites to get a feeling of what i am talking aboout, including some of mine. good luck and god bless. be grateful to have a day clean, a new baby, a loving spouse, a job to go to that has anything to do with health care that gives you the opportunity to possibly continue in a profession i am sure that you love. you have to love yourself more, you have to not fall into the trap that if you just were not monitored you could stay clean. that is a good one, i believed it for a long time, till guess what i used dope to the point that f-ck the nsg board, f-ck everything-i just want to die. don't go there. don't give them that power, and for the love of god do not eat or drink anything at any time that they say not to. i would do anything to be where you are. be grateful, you have more to lose then your job if you don't keep your priorities straight. keep your head up, even if you are scrubbing floors on your unit. F-ck what anyone else thinks, just think about what u think of u, what your higher power thinks of u and what your spouse thinks of you and your baby will look up to u as the person you truly are, not the illusion of what we think we are supposed to be according to all the people on our judgemental stage. just think about the people in the front row, the ones who truly love you and are on your cheering squad. i am certainly in the room cheering you on!