[TomB]

Good for You!!!

I have a couple of friends that I work with that are in the Indiana State Nursing Assistance Program.

From what they told me, don't get your recovery confused with your BON's monitoring program.

You don't need to be a nurse to recover. What I'm trying to say is create your own strong recovery program for yourself. The BON's monitoring program is just that - a monitoring program - not a recovery program. The recovery is yours - not the state's.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

[dlf2007]

Thanks Tom B for your reply. You're absolutely right, my recovery is my recovery...not the board's. I feel my nursing license and whatever goes along with it is secondary to me staying clean and sober. Have a good day

[andmetoo]

My name is Mel C RN and I am currently in the NCBON Alternative Program. I attend NA meetings regularly and my Sponsor and I are currently working on Step One. In Aug 2004, while caring for a patient having DT's, I sustained a C4-C5 Herniated Disc, in Sept 2004 I received my first perscrition for Vicodin and it was downhill from that point. From 08/2004 to 10/2005 I could not work in the hospital because of lifting restrictions but I did work at a Substance Abuse facility where I live in High Point, NC. Now catch this... I dispensed Methadone to clients during this time but I never entertained the thought of diverting at this time. In Sept 2005 after much Therapy and refusing surgery, I was cleared by the Comp MD to return to work. All was well but the seed had been planted. The Vicodin that had been precribed to me back in 2004 was no more and I took them like eating Skittles, even for the least amount of pain. Somewhere during Feb/March 2006 instead of wasting 2 mg of Dilaudid, I diverted it from the waste to myself. That cycle continued until I received a call from my Nurse Manager while I was on Vacation in NY for Thanksgiving 2006 that I neede to meet with her and the Chief Nursing Officer before I returned to work. At that meeting all the diversion that I had done was presented to me and I was terminated at that time. But before I left the CNO ask me twice, Mel is there something you want to tell me and because of ego and pride I said no. In hindsight, the disease was exposed but would not allow me to get help that was being offered to me at that time. I was in DENIAL to th extreme. This caused my life as I new it to collapse and I started pointing fingers at the JOB and The North Carolina Board Of Nursing. Even while they were helping me to get help with my diseased self I continued to blame others!!! Where I am right now is I get with my sponsor, go to meetings, keep it at what's happening now because that's what I have. I am scheduled to meet with a Addictionoligist and appear in front of the Board of Nursing in July. That's then but just for today i'm ok. I hope everyone is doing good and I plan on hangin' out with you guys for a long time, but the main thing is I'm here with you now.

[sailorman12]

Hi all,

I'm a prospective student. I've been clean and sober 14 years and was in a rehab 14 years ago. Mostly my drug of choice was alcohol. I work the steps irregualrly and go to meetings sometimes a lot, sometimes not. So, I'm wondering if any knows if state Board's look unkindly on rehab stays. If they ask I intend to answer honestly, of course. Do they ask? If one answers affirmative does it negatively affect one's chances?

I've no drug or alcohol convictions per se, just a couple silly misdemeanors from 18 plus years ago and an unfortunate recent soliciting misdemeanor I'm opting for non-conviction diversion on. That last one is unfortunate because it's embarrassing and was really out of character for me. There's a back story but it's just boring. Anyway, I've been advised by the CA BRN that if I demonstrate exemplary behavior, seek some counseling, get good evals and letters from professors, and write a good explanation then I shouldn't worry about it. But, I worry about it still. And I worry that coupled with the recovery issue it might make me seem not as morally upright as I know myself to be.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? I am not soliciting legal advice, just interested in what experiences people have had or heard about.

Thanks!

[COMEBACKDAD]

Its always nice to find people who have very similiar stories. There truly is something magical about other people really understanding where you have been and are. After 20 years sober and active in AA, I was put on prescription pain meds for a chronic (and slightly) weird problem. In no time at all, my tolerance was once again through the ceiling. After diverting meds from work for a while, life just got deeper and darker. When the police came to talk with me about the missing meds, I was so tired and so sick of hiding and lying.( This was about two months ago now.) I saw this as an opportunity to finally get out of a really vicious circle that I was trapped in.It has been an unbelievable mess since then and will continue to be for some time. Back in recovery, huge family support, and of course- the people in AA in my community have shown tremendous support for me being back. I am an RN, and still have my license(sp). Working with the DOH here in Washington State has been good. They actually are very supportive. Its nice to meet all of you-looking forward to hearing from dlf2007, are stories are virtually identical. Sober today and darn glad to be that way, KEV.

[jewels123]

I read your posts daily, but not much has happened on our end since my last update. My husband was caught diverting in March 2007. For the first month we were scared out of our minds. Warrant? Court? BON? Treatment? Addiction? Addictionologist?. All new words for us. This board has kept my sanity. It has helped me through each step by knowing what might be to come and where to go.

My husband is in a 12 week Intensive Outpatient Treatment (9 hours a week / minimum for IPN in FL) with a dual diagnosis of addiction and depression. He has been clean from all pain medication for almost 2 months. Even with a chronic pain issue he has decided to try alternate treatments. Being an RN for so many years, he thought most alternatives to be voodoo science. For those of you that might feel the same, i wanted to let you know how much his mind has changed. He attends pain management one on one yoga classes in addition to accupuncture. Each week he becomes more of the husband i married 21 years ago. He is clear, and happy and sees past the pain, past his diversion. He is committed to treatment and to carving a path that will first and foremost work to never take or divert again, and second to regain his career in a field he loves so much.

Thank you again to all those who post. It's stories like these that make us feel not so alone.

[rock chalk]

Hey Tracy,
Glad I found you guys. My name is Monae; I recently graduated from nursing school (BSN). Unfortunately, I smoked the herbal substance graduation night and thought I would be clean come pre employment drug screening. Unfortunately, 29 days out, I was not and I am not a chronic user. In fact this was 2nd occasion in about 60 days. Prior to that hadn't smoked pot since teen years, I'm 47. Oh I am a recovered alcoholic had 9 years sobriety prior to herbal usage. Of course, I was reported to IPN and have an evaluation this coming Monday with Dr. S. located at 4801 San Marco, Jacksonville, FL. I have no idea what to expect, what's going to happen to me or what info I should volunteer. I may have divulged too much to IPN already. Don't know? I've been LPN for 21 years and my record as a LPN is unblemished. Most of that experience was in the military. Any advice, words of wisdom, suggestions. I've heard so many horror stories about getting employed as a nurse while in the IPN program. I'm a little afraid and annoyed by all the negativity. Good thing I still get to take RN NCLEX 9 Jul. I'm all ears.

[JACRN1]

Hello! Many of the posts that I have read appear to parallel my experiences/addiction. In June 06, I was working in my dream ICU job. I had been an LPN for 12 years and went back to school so I could work in that setting. After some years of occassionally taking Lortab/DCN , I adanced to Demerol after a stressfull work shift. After a few times of replacing what I was supposed to waste with saline, I began to crave the drug more and more. I am ashamed to say that the smell of an alcohol pad can trigger my desire for demerol. I have never had a problem with addiction in my past. No smoking, only occassional social drinking. Its a terrible feeling. After about 3 months of using when I could get it, I was called to a meeting with my manager, admin, and pharmacy in regards to my frequency of Dem withdrawing from pixis. I denied and with great fear submitted urine. It came back negative, and they cleared me back to work. With great ignorance, 2 months later I was in the same boat. However, when confronted I walked away and quit. I decided to seek employment in a LTC setting to avoid exposure to injectible drugs. Last week, I received a consent order from the Tennessee Board. The state attorney stated to me that they want to revoke my license. I asked about peer assistanse, and she said that if I called them that day, she would modify the order suspending my license until treatment and contract. I made the call, but have not signed the order yet....have until July 27.
I am now very scared. I know my choices. Here in TN, when your license is disciplined they post the details of the investigation on the internet for the public. I do not know if I want to submit to Peer and the board to keep my license, and possibly not ever find a job in nursing again. I know I deserve to lose my license and am very ashamed of my actions. Perhaps I should just go back to school for something else, but I have been a licensed nurse since 19y/o.

[sohpie1]

JACRN1~ Hello, welcome. I am currently in peer assistance in Tennessee. It's going very well. Yes, I have several restrictions but it's going so much better than I expected. I am also a member of N.A. God and the program have saved my life. I am leaving on vacation very soon so I can't write more right now. If you have any specific questions, feel free to leave me a msg (private msg if you like--just read how to do it.) Keep your chin up......you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders if you reach out here, ask questions, attend meetings (NA or AA) and other important things. I never thought I'd work again and not only am I working as a nurse, I feel spiritually healthy and grateful to be alive...and clean! Hugs~

[victorianiki]

Dear JACRN1,
I was caught obtaining fradulent rx's back in December. I ended up spending time in jail and am now going through our state's diversion program in Michigan, which is called HPRP-Health Care Professional Recovery Program. I am new to all this and it is very scary for me. I cant get a job and I am so full of shame it hurts. I too am waiting on their order to sign. I feel as if I want to just give up and forget about nursing. How will I do all the drug screens, meetings, addictionologists, ect? Our family is nearing broke and may lose our newly purchased home. I have no insurance and am scared. But I think it is worth it to give the program a go. I don't see any other choice. When I really feel like giving up, I think back to why I became a nurse in the first place. I think about all the people I helped, made smile, held while they cried or were in pain.... To never do that again would break my heart. Thats why I put up with all this. And because it will most likely save my life. Please if I can help in any way, contact me. It does help to talk to people who ARE there.