Somebody help

[scaredinindiana]

Hi everybody. I'm an RN in central Indiana and have been caught doing what I hate most about myself and am being reported to the attorney general. I have been trying to call ISNAP all week, but they do not answer their phones and I'm losing my nerve to even tell them what I did. I have an addiction to narcotics and unfortunately chose to use meds at work (the only place I've ever tried or used anything) - I have never even tried to smoke cigs or anything else and don't even drink alcohol! I am so stupid. I don't know what's wrong with me. I need somebody to talk to. I'm so scared. My husband is really pissed off and looks at me like I'm nobody he's ever met. I can't take it. I don't even want to breathe anymore. How could I have done this? And I'm having trouble figuring out how to use this site. I've never chatted before. Life sucks! What am I going to do?

[cali510]

I think you need to find someone to talk to as soon as possible, whether they can specifically help you with the nursing situation or not. Please look in the phonebook or online for the number to Narcotics Anonymous and make that call. Or see a doctor. Get with someone. Please come back and tell us you are in touch with someone who can help you to start dealing with this. Best wishes.

[hppygr8ful]

Originally Posted by cali510

I think you need to find someone to talk to as soon as possible, whether they can specifically help you with the nursing situation or not. Please look in the phonebook or online for the number to Narcotics Anonymous and make that call. Or see a doctor. Get with someone. Please come back and tell us you are in touch with someone who can help you to start dealing with this. Best wishes.

Cali has given you good advice - Reporting yourself to the board can wait a couple of days. Most important now is to see to getting treatment for your addiction. Call Narcotics Anonymous today get to a meeting if you can . Also open your phone book and find a treatment center for addiction. If you can't find one call a local hospital for a referral- Depending on what you are/were using and for how long you may need to detox in a medical setting and if you are already in treatment when the BON contacts you it will be better for you.

As for you husband he will come around in time. My husband didn't talk to me for 6 months. Just looked at me like I was some kind of filth. As I progressed in recovery he came to understand as well. I am over 5 years sober and our marriage is better and stronger than it ever was. I will be around on the chat room this evening around 8 pm central time if you want to talk - other wise talk to me here or send me a PM. I will respond.

Peace and Namaste

Hppygr8ful

[Alk1227]

Hi scared,
I'm also from Indiana and I must say to keep calling! I called and told them my story. If you would like to email me I can give you the details at alk27@comcast.net
I know this is scary, your husband probably doesn't understand.
You have a disease, don't beat yourself up anymore.
Please reach out, there are alot of us in your situation.
you can even private message me here if you'd like and I can answer all your questions.

Please contact me ASAP. you are not alone!!

[redbaron9890]

I am indiana also, got to be honest with you not a big fan of NA, suggest you go to AA and start working steps, you will find a lot of support there and pray. Believe it or not you will be fine, just keep taking the next right step. bb

[SrenitPlz08]

Don't be afraid there are many here with you and all over, you are not alone. I am a nurse of 18 years from Michigan. I lost my job in July, I called the Health Professional Recovery Program and reported myself. My husband looked at me like I ruined our lives..like how could you..I understand..you need to first call for help..you need to get help for yourself.. treatment...to get free from that life that's controlling you..get the help..take one day at a time...right now..you feel like it's all over ..what did u do? how did u get here?WHY???Those answers will come and you'll be sober and happy.. believe me I asked myself the very same questions...just get help put yourself in treatment..and stay in close contact with good a clean support system. I know people have different opinions, but I feel Suboxone was a miracle drug for those in treatment for Narcotic addiction. It helped me.Good Luck