Please Help...Sister In Law Nurse Using

[peanutmom2001]

Hello! Thank you for allowing me to post this on your forum. I have so much respect for those of you who are dealing with working through your addiction. I feel terrible for those who have not found this kind of support yet. I need help and felt, after doing a lot of research, that you all would give me the most honest answer about what to do.

My sister in law (SIL) has been using cocaine on and off for many years (and who knows what else). She has been in many terrible situations, but, because of (or in spite of) an enabling family, her schooling was paid for to go into nursing. This was not the field of choice for her (her sister was in it and liked it), but it would be a better paying job to get back on track with her life. I was concerned about her field of choice, given her recent addictions, but now I see that she would have found drugs no matter what field she had gone into.

Unfortunately, she has relapsed several times - as a working nurse. Always I have been the only family member to realize she was probably using, but because I am the in-law, and in FL (she is in MI), no one believed me (EVERY TIME!). She has worked 80 hour weeks until she was so high and burned out that she would have to quit. So far, she has not been caught.

After the last incident, she was worse than she ever had been. It did not take long for her to crash, and when she did, it was hard. She quit her job (or was fired - not sure because the whole family lies for her and she lies to them). When I offered to find her a treatment program, she claimed she just needed to get better with some minor counseling. I told her to call when she was ready to get real help. In the meantime, she applied for a job at a hospice center. I told everyone that it was a bad idea - but they wanted her to make money more than they wanted her to get better. They thought that if she was working, it meant she wasn't using. They did not listen.

Sure enough - today, we got a phone call that she was using again, but was not going to quit her job this time. She is avoiding help at all costs because she likes her job and is afraid to lose her license. My husband wants to call her job (he is her brother, remember) and turn her in, because he is afraid for the patients but even more for her. He thinks it will be the "wake up call that she needs". I am not sure what to do. I am not afraid to do anything, I just want to do whatever will help the MOST. Thanks so much in advance for all of your advice. God bless you in your recovery, and please pray for my SIL.

[hppygr8ful]

As a nurse in recovery - and yes I have spent 4 years now in Diversion - testing following what at times are unreasonable rules and regs, false + etgs and the like - I would advise that you brother or you contact the state board where you SIL is licensed and report her immediately. This is not about family loyalty! This is about the safety of the patients she is caring for. She will be forced into treatment of will have to relinquish her liscense. Harsh I know but it may be the wake-up that she and the whole family needs to accept that there is an Elephant in the living room.
Face facts that eventually she is going to die or kill someone else. How will that feel on your conscience if you do nothing - be prepared for familial backlash!

I used and drank for over 30 years became a nurse and flew under the radar for two years I was never caught or turned in, but after a failed suicide attempt I turned myself in to the board. Why? At the time my husband felt my job was more important than my getting sober. Look for my story on this site - Anyway on Sept 28,2008 I will be four years sober - I am a better nurse, better wife, better mother for the experience.

Good luck to you and yours

Hppy

[roesseba]

I would clue in her charge nurse that she is using and they could do a random drug screen and you would have nothing to be connected with it, but she would go to rehab and maybe get fixed.