[Desilou]

just wanted to say how helpful reading others threads on this website can be sometimes. knowing that other nurses are going thru what I am is so comforting. because sometimes we forget that there are people out there that understand us, but it is easy to forget. im still going thru alot emotionally and am still waiting for my hearing with the Board to determine my fate-nervous as hell. i am preparing for the worst, but hoping for the best-thats what I always do. so many times i replay over and over in my head if only i knew then what i do now. things would be so different. i hope to think that there is a reason for all of this, and that God has a plan for all of us-maybe I would of died or killed a patient if I wasnt stopped in my tracks with my drug use. I do miss the high and the freedom to use whenever I want, but I have to learn that we all need to "grow up" sometime and remember that life is not always just about what we want ourselfs but we have to think of the other people in our lifes that our drug use affects. i dont know if i will ever begin to forgive myself

[lpRN13108]

I have the same thoughts especially because I recently slipped. How can I ever forgive myself, after what I put my family through I went and did it again. Then I remind myself that I am a human being and God created us with the ability to make mistakes so we can learn from them. I definately believe God has a reason for everything that happens in our lives and it is ALWAYS for our benefit. Don't think you are being punished because I know someday I will look back on this time in my life and realize I was being blessed with God's grace. Take it one day at a time or even somedays one minute at a time. Keep asking for Help!