Needing some encouragement

[jimp11639]

I'm a nurse in Missouri, and I was recently caught diverting. I've started an outpatient recovery program and it's great. I was amazed at how well I could lie to myself about this problem.
While I'm getting better, I'm now dying of anxiety. I've got a possible felony charge pending, and a good lawyer helping. Some of the other postings have really help my otherwise bleak outlook on life. I started my treatment before any legal action, I'm told that might help.
My wife is also an RN, and I was able to fool her the entire time I was diverting. Telling her the truth was the hardest thing I have ever done. But she is amazing. She never judged me - and without her support, I doubt I would even be walking the planet today.
I was just hoping some one could offer any advise on how this is going to play out. Will I ever be a nurse again if I'm a felon? I've read a little about how "prosicution was delayed" and dropped after a year sober, ect.
This all has been a nightmare, and I wish I could just wake up. But I know that won't happen, so I guess I'll just have to keep staying up all night and searching for encouragement in this forum. Everyone who posts in here should know how much help the provide people like me and situations like this. Thank you all for the little bit of sanity you give me.

[noah04]

hello, i hope maybe you can take something away from my post. First and foremost, i am glad to hear that you are in treatment, it helps soo much, especially in the beginning when it seems like problem after problem is dropping into your lap. I am also very happy that your wife is understanding and supportive. Since i've been lurking around this and other sites, it seems for every 1 discouraging person, you will find 20 encouraging ones.

first, i am a convicted felon, (DUI- 2 in a row) i am currently in the process of being reinstated through the nursing boards (2 states). I have been in recovery nearly 3 years. My mess is big and scattered, but there is a way to get throught it!! It took me a long time to even decide i wanted to remain a nurse. The waiting was what i hated. I'm not a lawyer, but from what i have heard, it is best to wait as long as possible before getting sentenced. what you can prove to the court between your getting caught and your sentencing (abstinence, meetings, treatment) will be a HUGE help to your case.

Hopefully with a lawyer, cooperation from you, and a CONSISTENT and documented recovery(make 5 copies of everything b/c everyone will want one- LOL), your problems will not take as long to resolve. First, get to the diversion program throught missouri before action on your license begins, once that begins you will have a slew of other troubles. (OIG revocation, etc) although you will not having anything on your actual nursing license this way, you will have to disclose everything to a potential employer anyhow (most likely part of returning to work will involve monitoring and probation)

i am not familiar with your state, but i believe most states will work with you as long as you are sincerely recovering/sorry/learned your lesson/scared as hell/ truly want to remain a nurse/ etc. even with a felony, i believe you will be able to keep your nursing license. as far as employers hiring with a felony, or even having a "charge" of something without a conviction, i don't know. that is where i will be soon. it will probably take me another year to even be able to look. From what i have read, it seems that a lot of places will work with you if you are sincere and open from the beginning. finding one will probably stink, lol, but i am remaining optimistic, and so should you!!!



good luck to you!!!

[jimp11639]

I'm mostly through the "rehab" program, as getting to well as NA meeting as often as I can. And I'm happy to report that I'm getting better. When this nightmare started, there was no light at the end of the tunnel, there wasn't even any hope that I could do anything fix any of this. But now all the anxeity and depression (all right, almost all of the anxeity and depression) is gone, and maybe this thing doesn't have to be the end of me.
I just wanted to thank everyone on this board, and everyone who offered thoughts and prayers or their story of hope. It helped me, and I'm sure lots of others, get over that first terrible hump of recovery.
jimp11639

[Ricu]

Hi folks,

Your stories are great testimony! The strength you show and integrity for doing the right thing is humbling. I have no personal experience with the things you're living through but have had the following experience that may offer more light at the end of the tunnel. About twenty years ago while working as a department supervisor in a hospital, I hired a guy who was convicted for conspiring to sell schedule II drugs. I was interviewing senior students to work perdiem and had my eye on one in particular. He was a bit older than the rest and showed remarkable ability. While reviewing his application, I learned that he had been a pharmacist. Once through the ordeal which I believe involved no prison time, he went back to school for a different medical profession. I was a little surprised when he specifically brought the matter up during the interview. He wanted to be sure that I knew about it and ahad the opportunity to ask questions. He was under no obligation to bring this matter up and I suppose, could've jeopardized his chances with somebody else however, I was convinced that he was the ideal candidate. On a personal level, I was moved by this guy's honesty and character. He wanted me to be sure I wasn't making a mistake by hiring him. He turned out to be one of the strongest staff members I had and taught me an important life lesson; that sometimes people can make serious judgement mistakes, learn from them and that they can be trusted again.

R