[fishernurse]

Hi to all and so glad that I have found this forum. I am a opiate addicted nurse too. 10 years ago I fell on the ice and severely broke my elbow. I was prescribed vicodin for the pain for a year. Every job since then (pharm tech,HHA, LTC LPN) I diverted and stole 100's of pills. Never got caught until 2 months ago. I dont really know if my licence is going to be effected, it probably will. I had a narcotics investigator came to my home and talk to me about the missing pills and med errors. I told him that I had only took one, for a toothache and the rest of the errors were just documentation errors. I dont take pills on a regular basis and alright until I have to work with them, then I always pick up. Do you think that I could work at a detox center? I dont think that there will be any opiates around me. I do not crave anything alse just vics and percocets. Do you think that I am doing the right thing? Thanks.

[hppygr8ful]

So glad you found us here - By way of introduction I am an alcoholic/addict. I voluntarily referred myself to the California diversion program in September '04 went through an intensive out patient treatment program and have been clean and sober ever since. I have just a little under a year left in the diversion program and my life even with the hassels of diversion is the best it's ever been.

I know you are really worried about working right now - but if your liscense is under investigtion you need to find out what's next. Unless you are certain that you will not test positive don't go looking for a job just now. If you think that going to work somewhere where there are no narcs will solve your problem you are deluding yourself. Until you get treatment for your addiction it will always be a problem. Even with treatment and a solid program of recovery we are all just one drink or pill away from relapse. You can usually collect disability under a diagnosis of depression for about a year while you seek treatment. Then depending on if you are in diversion or probation you will be allowed to return to work -usually in a non-patient care position. Diversion and probation have a lot of headaches attached which you'll soon find out about - but I honestly have to say that I am grateful because were it not for Diversion I know I would be dead today and my son would not have a mother to care for him.

If you want things to go better for you with what ever board of nursing you are dealing with start attending daily AA/NA meetings and get yourself into a facility where you can detox. Detox isn't nearly as bad as people make it out to be. I work in a facility that offers detox and we also have a pretty good 28 day rehab program.

It comes down to one thing only - you have to make being sober the most important goal in your life - more important that work, kids, marriage etc because these are all the things you will lose if you stay in your disease.

Peace and Namaste

Hppy

[fishernurse]

thanx 4 your reply. My license is good,for now. The investigators told me to find work pronto and make all the money I can until it gets pulled. I am clean for opiates but not for weed. I cannot go into detox or rehab cuz a have no ins. and that am past the withdrawal stage, I hate this disease,my life and what I have put my family thru. This is going to be a sad holiday and its all my fault. But Im going to have to check out the disability thing I imagine its almost next to impossible to get? I am already clinically depressed and take 150mg of effexor daily so maybe that counts for something.

[AmandaWIRN]

If you are smoking weed then you have more than an opiate problem... And lying to state investigators is not a good start. You need to be honest with yourself & with them. You need to get to NA meetings if you are serious about quitting.

[Dutchesslaura]

Disability is not next to impossible to get. You can get temp disability for a year. It will pay pretty much whatever you were making anyway. Join the local diversion program pronto!

[Educator Nurse]

You need to be honest with yourself & with them ..