[JennyP]

Laurie, I'm sorry that your Grandmother is dying. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you right now that you will stay strong and sober during this time.

Laurie, I told you what *I* use for certain types of pain because I wanted you to know that there are alternatives to narcotics. Something that you should think about is that the narcs and ETOH may numb the pain, but they also numb the good feelings and the good memories you may have of your Grandmother. Grief is a normal part of life, and addictions block it which then postpones it til later.

I totally agree with Amanda that you need to be evaluated properly at a pain clinic. And that you need to keep going to meetings and lean on your loved ones too.

[lpRN13108]

Thanks so much you guys for the caring concern in your posts. I was terminated from my job so I won't be able to go to a pain clinic for a little while since I have no insurance and no money either. I am only using my vicodin as prescribed and most days even less. I am going to get some capzaisin to try as well as parafin dips for my hands and feet..the joint pain is getting worse with each day now it seems. My counselor is woeking hard with me about staying accountable for my pain med use as well..I am being careful to use it for physical pain ONLY not emotional pain. When I am taking a dose i will write down my pain location in my journal. I am doing all i can to keep my recovery on track. 43 days sobriety today..longest I have had so far.

[AmandaWIRN]

Laurie- haven't heard from you in over 2 weeks- everything OK???

[JennyP]

Originally Posted by AmandaWIRN

Laurie- haven't heard from you in over 2 weeks- everything OK???

I've been concerned too. Maybe she had to give up the internet for a while due to the lower income?

Sending healing thoughts and strength your way, Laurie. Let us know how things are going.

[lpRN13108]

Hello All,
sorry I haven't posted in a few weeks. I have been keeping pretty busy going back and forth to my gram's and then I have been riding the self pity train some too..ever since i started taking vicodin again I have convinced myself that I am not really sober anymore..I haven't had a drink since April 22 but I have only been to a few meetings and haven't gotten my 30 or 60 day chip. I know I am taking the vicodin for very real physical pain but still I feel like I am cheating on my sobriety for some reason. I have talked to my counselor about it and he says as long as I am taking it as prescribed for the reasons it was prescribed for ONLY it is the right thing to do. I would like to go to a pain clinic but since being fired from my job I have no money and no insurance to do that. I thank you guys so much for your thoughts and prayers for me and my gram..she is hanging on but she now sleeps most of the time and is having more abdominal pain at the site of the primary tumor. I will try to post at least 1 x weekly here to let all my friends know that I am doing ok. Hope you all had a safe and happy 4th of July.I'll post again soon
Love,Hugs,Prayers,and many Thanks,
Laurie

[AmandaWIRN]

Good to hear you're still sober- I know you have a lot going on right now but make sure you are taking care of yourself- that means making time to get to meetings every now & then. Go get your 30 & 60 day chips- you've earned them!

[JennyP]

Laurie, riding the pity train will get you back in trouble. Do take care of YOU; that means get your butt to a meeting at LEAST once a week (3-4 meetings a week would help more; but once a week will have to do for now while your Grandmother is dying). PLEASE go to meetings! I will bet you that there are people at meetings who have had to take pain meds too; they may have some suggestions and advice for you now.

AA meetings are your lifeline right now; that 1 hour meeting will help you through this. Stop beating yourself up about the Vicodin; ask at a meeting for help. If your attitude towards the Vicodin is so negative, you may be setting yourself up for failure (and a relapse). Keep working your 12 step plan, but make sure you get to 1 meeting a week (minimum!) to take care of yourself.

[lpRN13108]

Hello All thought I would stop in and give a quick update on how I am doing. My gram died on July 18th and it has been very hard to get through. I didn't handle it well at first and I did pick up a drink but I didn't stay on a bender this time just a couple drinks and I realized that wasn't going to help me this time. I haven't had any more for about 4 days but I haven't been to a meeting either. I don't feel like going out at all right now I sleep most of the day. I am setting my self a goal of 1 meeting next week and my counseling session too so hopefully things will change soon. keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers please we lost an amazing lady this week.
Love,Hugs,and Prayers
Laurie

[cougarnurse]

My condolences to you and yours, Laurie.

I am sure you noticed that we have all worried about you; thus, drop by for your support over here, too!

'Cat'

[JennyP]

Laurie, my deepest sympathy to you and your family on the loss of your Grandmother. Your "Gram" is at peace now; but your family is in pain and needing you to share the memories of this amazing lady's life with them. By sharing these memories with your family you can help heal yourself and she will live on in these family stories for generations to come.

Get up and get to several meetings this next week and in to your counselor too. You had a close call with the alcohol this time; next time may not go so well.