[robin4465]

plus i can't type in case anybody can' tell!!! lol!!!
robin

[gotmylifeback]

Hi there, I got caught by pharmacy records. I got ****y after a year of diverting and began to override IV dilaudid way more than was "normal". I was reported to my state's professional assistance program. At the time I felt like my whole life was over. Now, almost 2 years later, I am so grateful that it happened. No, it's not fun to "check-in" every day to see if I have to drop a screen, go to peer group once a week (although it's very beneficial at times), go to a mandated number of AA meetings, and check in with a case manager off and on, but the goal for me is to get better, not get around a system, so I don't have any complaints with my program. I was totally honest with my new boss and my co-workers and they have been nothing but supportive. I think a lot of places aren't as good as my hospital from stories I've heard, but where I work has been so good to me. I feel very blessed. No I don't work for the hospital that caught me..they fired me with a "no-rehire" clause, which was what they should have done. I now work for their competitor in my area, and I love it here. (much more nurse-friendly here). Anyway, that's my story..but just remember--what matters is what do you want out of your recovery--to get better? or to just "get by" until the scruitiny is over? If you want to get better, you will truly "go to any lengths". God bless.

[nrsaddic1]

Hello,
I am new to this on-line site; I am very impressed by all of the bravery that I see in all of these posts, as well as the wisdom, and experience, strength and hope. I was cross-addicted to opiates after quitting alcohol (I didn't go to AA which was a big mistake). I never had to divert because I had an enabler through my husband. My addiction increased and my life began to go downhill and I blamed everything but the pills. I ended up getting xanax by lying to my nurse practitioner and then took too many working night shift, was approached by the supervisor at the end of the shift. I was mortified, had to pee in a cup and give blood, was suspended for two weeks until the "investigation" was complete. Long story short, I ended up with an intervention from my pastor, best friend and husband after suicidal "ideations" and went to the hospital for treatment. I detox'd off of benzos and opiates which was hell but I am glad I had to experience it. I was cared for by former colleagues from the previous 30 years in nursing. I was very blessed in that my license was not compromised and the little hospital where I was working worked with me because I was honest with them, sought treatment on my own and I supposed because I had not diverted (not to say I wouldn't have-never say never). I went through 6 weeks of IOP and have been clean and sober for two years. I didn't work for almost 4 months but when I did, I was able to go back and be the nurse I hadn't been able to be for a long time and do nursing that I could not have done before. I did have consequences even though my license wasn't compromised. I was the primary breadwinner and we were already on a financial banana peel, so we lost our home, car, etc. We have ended up moving to a new state and it has been a GOD thing. I try to give it away so I can keep it. I have discovered as I read in some of the other posts that there are nurses who are understanding about addiction and alcoholism and some who have their heads up their butts. My Mom always said "honey, just look at the shape of their heads and forgive them". OK Mom.

[PRESLA]

robin4465 by any chance are you in NC?? I am in the CDDP c the NCBON and you talk like in terms used c the NC program.