[5150kat]

Hi Everybody, Well My psychiatrist found me this site today when I was in his office. My story is a long one. I've been an addict and an alcoholic since I was 12 (thats 30 years). I just celebrated 1 year clean on the 17th of this month. Anyways, Im on probation here in CA. I didnt divert, I altered a script for myself, then I tested positive for 7 different drugs when they caught me off guard after I was out partying for like 5 days. Anyways, Ive been on disability for a year cause when I got off all that s___ I found out I was bipolar and I was very sick for a while. Well my disability is about to run out and now I have to start looking for work. I live in a very small county. I really just feel like surrendering my license and saying screw the whole thing. I am going to voc rehab to be a drug counselor, but that takes a while, and what am I gonna live off of until then? I know I sound like a very depressing person, actually I am just venting. I am very involved in Na, and am happy to be clean for a whole year. im just really really worried and scared. I guess you guys are all going through it too. I'll read your stuff and write you and maybe like my shrink said this will help me. Thanks for listening.......

[onetraveler]

Originally Posted by 5150kat

Hi Everybody, Well My psychiatrist found me this site today when I was in his office. My story is a long one. I've been an addict and an alcoholic since I was 12 (thats 30 years). I just celebrated 1 year clean on the 17th of this month. Anyways, Im on probation here in CA. I didnt divert, I altered a script for myself, then I tested positive for 7 different drugs when they caught me off guard after I was out partying for like 5 days. Anyways, Ive been on disability for a year cause when I got off all that s___ I found out I was bipolar and I was very sick for a while. Well my disability is about to run out and now I have to start looking for work. I live in a very small county. I really just feel like surrendering my license and saying screw the whole thing. I am going to voc rehab to be a drug counselor, but that takes a while, and what am I gonna live off of until then? I know I sound like a very depressing person, actually I am just venting. I am very involved in Na, and am happy to be clean for a whole year. im just really really worried and scared. I guess you guys are all going through it too. I'll read your stuff and write you and maybe like my shrink said this will help me. Thanks for listening.......

Gotta tell you like it is....... Get off your pity pot.

And get rid of the stinking thinking. You won't be going any where like that.............

[5150kat]

I guess I said too much too soon. "Venting is a little different than the pity pot". I thought something like this might be helpful for me, but I guess I was wrong. Have a great day!:whatever:

[dtgaup]

Hi, just wanted to say, don't give up on this site, it is a good one. I am a nurse in nevada, caught diverting drugs about one month ago. Was fired from a great job, and I am now in the Board's diversion program. I am in intensive outpatient treatment, and doing lots of meetings. I surrendered my license, and have to be monitored for 5 years. Hopefully I will get a conditional license in about 8 months. I totally relate to your finacial issues. There is no state disability in Nevada, so I basically lost a 80,000 dollar a year job, with no way for money to come in. Thankfully I have a husband(and a 2 year old), that is working to keep things afloat. I ahve been through alot of emotional turmoil, and am frankly very depressed, but i still have some hope for the future. I have a daughter to take care of, so there are no other options for me. If you ahve no stipulations on your license, you should definitely get back into nursing. It is so rewarding, and will help you mentally. I also relate with your bipolar disorder. My father is biploar, and it is a very hard thing to live and deal with. Keep on coming back to this site periodically, it may help you. Some people are brutally honest, and that is maybe what we need. Take care

[dlf2007]

Hi, I just want to thank you for your open-ness and appreciate you sharing your storying and venting. It's helpful to read all the stories here...like one of the other nurses said, don't give up on this site. Keep in touch!

[onetraveler]

Originally Posted by 5150kat

I guess I said too much too soon. "Venting is a little different than the pity pot". I thought something like this might be helpful for me, but I guess I was wrong. Have a great day!:whatever:

You weren't wrong. But it can only help you if you let it. You're forgetting your 12 steps......

[lscrn]

Hi and its okay to vent and I'd rather do that than relapse any day of the week. I'm rather lucky because I was never caught and have been sober for the last fourteen months. I go to AA meetings sometimes now, but at times I need to know that I'm not the only nurse with a problem. Vent do what ever it takes to stay clean, but remember venting is different than having a pity party. Good luck.