freedom in surrender

[gratefulcat]

I was living in fear and anger for a few weeks after finding out that I was going to have to disclose my criminal record to the BON and risk not getting the RN after working so hard. But I got tired of living with fear and anger and I started praying for acceptance. I reached out for help, by making phone calls. through the program I found other nurses that I could talk to. It's funny that when I admit that I am powerless I get all the help I need.
I can honestly say that whether I get my RN or not I will live happily knowing that I am honest, open minded and willing to accept life as it comes.

I can only continue to keep my side of the street clean and honesty is one of the ways I do that.

As soon as I heard fingerprints and livescan I knew I was going to have to pull out the expunged records, well they ask for me to anyway, but... thats when I got scared and angry

My happiness cannot depend on the circumstances in my life because there will always be something...
I know true happiness is surrendering the illusion of control and accepting life good or bad and having faith that my higher power will provide the right path for me.
Today I can accept whatever path or pattern the goddess lays down for me.
I am accepting.
It feels light and free
I sound like a dork, but hey these moments don't come everyday, although they do come closer together when I do the work
I love myself today, which makes me available for myself and others.
ramble, ramble
thanks for reading and writing, this site has been a great help!!

[lpRN13108]

hey gratefulcat,
I don't think you are a dork at all, and I admire your courage to face your fear and anger and do the right thing by being honest. As someone who is paralyzed and controlled by fear I can understand how hard that must have been. I hope the BON can see how much you have grown and changed since making your past mistakes and grant you your license. Have you written a letter to the board explaining the ways you have done that..I know in the state of Maine that can be very helpful.
Good Luck
lp