[Ricu]

Originally Posted by naskippy

Why would you make an opening statement like that? "It would be very inappropriate for his partner to give him a giant kiss right on the lips at the work place".

It is obvious that you have the homophobic "Don't Ask Don't Tell" mentality of the Army branded in your skull...however the rest of us civilians (and we out number you) don't play by the rules of your little club.

Sorry, but I feel that was a very inappropriate remark on your behalf and off subject. The subject was about coming out if he should come out to his coworkers to avoid sexual harassment...not gay or straight sex or public signs of affection. And just tell us GI Joe, what would make his boyfriend kissing him at work anymore inappropriate than your wife kissing you at work? I have worked many places and have seen many people kiss at work before. I don't think there are any laws against who can kiss who...and I bet top dollar your wife has laid one on you in public or at work before. Your remark was way off base, uncalled for and had no place here.

Sorry for the flame folks. He hit a nerve. The Male Nurse Forum is not about judging people, it is about helping people. Further as a former HR Representative for a large corporation I stand my original posting and advise.

Dear Skippy,

It seems that the original statement featuring in essence the phrase " lay a big wet kiss on his partner's lips" has generated quite a firestorm hasn't it? Interestingly, I believe it has very little to do with the posting which opened this thread, but that's neither here nor there. I would ask if from your HR perspective, ANY provocative PDA would be tolerated in the workplace? I'm not talking about a discrete kiss goodbye, I'm referring to the big, wet kiss in open view. My statement as I feel most shared here on this particular subject has nothing to do with the sex(s) of the participants but rather the behavior itself. Furthermore, if this were the workplace, wouldn't harassment such as that which you are directing toward a member of the military also according to HR policy, be grounds for reprimand or termination?


Just a few thoughts,

R

[cougarnurse]

Thank you for your post, Ricu. I do appreciate the redirection toward the OP's original question. Thanks for understanding.....

'Cat'

[Ricu]

Originally Posted by cougarnurse

Thank you for your post, Ricu. I do appreciate the redirection toward the OP's original question. Thanks for understanding.....

'Cat'

Hi Cat,

You do a great job of morale boosting. Thanks

Cheers,

R

[SoldierNurse]

Originally Posted by naskippy

Why would you make an opening statement like that? "It would be very inappropriate for his partner to give him a giant kiss right on the lips at the work place".

It is obvious that you have the homophobic "Don't Ask Don't Tell" mentality of the Army branded in your skull...however the rest of us civilians (and we out number you) don't play by the rules of your little club.

Sorry, but I feel that was a very inappropriate remark on your behalf and off subject. The subject was about coming out if he should come out to his coworkers to avoid sexual harassment...not gay or straight sex or public signs of affection. And just tell us GI Joe, what would make his boyfriend kissing him at work anymore inappropriate than your wife kissing you at work? I have worked many places and have seen many people kiss at work before. I don't think there are any laws against who can kiss who...and I bet top dollar your wife has laid one on you in public or at work before. Your remark was way off base, uncalled for and had no place here.

Sorry for the flame folks. He hit a nerve. The Male Nurse Forum is not about judging people, it is about helping people. Further as a former HR Representative for a large corporation I stand my original posting and advise.

Naskippy - First of all, I want to thank you for your post. Seriously, I admire your fire & passion.

However, I would ask you to go back and read my entire post. My post about kissing at the workplace was in direct response to berean's statement. Then, the rest of my post was more to the OP. So, I did NOT actually go off topic. Furthermore, you seemed to have jumped to conclusions about me with too little data. I'm in no way homophobic. I will admit to a dislike of your comment about the Army being a little club. A lot of lives have been lost in response to the GWOT [Global War on Terrorism]. Of course, it is your right to disagree with my current Commander-In-Chief's policy on Iraq. However, I pray that ALL Americans will support US troops in harms way.

I'm an Army Nurse that treats all my patients [military, military dependents, retired military, retired military dependents, as well as non-military associated patients] with care, compassion, and without judgement. At Madigan Army Medical Center we take care of many non-military associated civilian patients D/T being a trauma level facility. My personal motto is as long as two adults are happy, and treat each other with respect I could careless if they are the same gender, different race, huge gap in age, etc. In fact, I support same sex marriages [civilians only... until DoD changes policies] in order for partners to have the same rights related to healthcare issues. I have been a civilian nurse longer than a military nurse and have seen partners of patients left out of the loop R/T patient wishes.

True, I'm an Army officer. However, my primary function is too treat those in need of healthcare with care & compassion. Yes, I must follow the UCMJ & associated military policies. Yet, I'm not branded, or brainwashed with some homophobic ideals as you suggested. Not only am I an Army officer, also a Marine Corps veteran. In the Marine Corps I was taught military in uniform do not hold hands, etc. Of course, if one is coming back home from a deployment exceptions are understood for loved one's to embrace. Plus, I don't think it would be appropriate for a husband & wife [heterosexuals] to share a giant kiss right on the lips at the workplace, either. IMHO, a giant kiss is more appropriate in private. So, you owe me a dollar!

Again, I've re-read my original post that hit a nerve with you and I honestly don't see where I was laying judgement. I respect your past experience as an HR Rep. I would ask you respect my position as a Moderator on this site, too. Please, next time someone upsets you with a post make sure not to read mistakenly between the lines. If you would like to discuss this further feel free to send me a PM. Otherwise, let us keep this Thread on topic, rather than on a personal level.

[TheDreamer]

I have mixed feelings about this one. I myself am gay and have a partner. However I also have a very strong work ethic and try to seperate my job from my home life as much as possible. Furthermore, some types of friendly comedic flirting cant hurt anyone if its all in jest imo. The hospital can be a really sad place sometimes, so little things like a wink or such is a nice way to lighten a mood and usually are innocent. Hell I make hot coacoa for the ladies in my place when they look down to cheer em up.

I can see where you would feel uncomfortable at work being hit on all the time by women or men for that matter. That really has no place regardless of your sexual orientation. Granted "coming out" might sound like a good idea, but I have found that in the past it has done more harm then good. =/ That drives some women to try and "fix" you or their attitudes might change from flirty to vengeful or worse, they will go biblical on you. I had one lady try to "save me" because baby jesus doesnt like homosexuals. Thats another topic though hehe. I have seen some crazy things going on with women when i tell them im gay so thats just something you might want to consider.

IMO its no ones business really who youre kissing at night. I would simply tell them that youre not interested and dont appreciate the sexual inuendos/contact/whatever.

All that aside, if you still believe its the best thing to do, get your BF/partner to bring you lunch or something on your break. You can even get a goodbye kiss in the req room or some such if you really wanna lay it on. A few days of that in a row will give them the hint they need and yet save you from having to publically throw a pride parade through the ER. Hell even a simple "Love you hun, See you tonight" will do :P

Either way just wiegh your options and determine if its best for to do all this. Personally i prefer the direct approach. "I really dont appreciate you smacking my deliciously firm ass, so please refrain from it :P" (ok so im a bit of a flirt, so sue me) If you have a good connection with your co workers and know thier limits and yours go ahead and set some boundries. Personally I wouldnt want my ass smacked just based on work ethic and how improper it is, but if a nurse was helping me out or saying kind positive thing to me, theres no harm in that.

I tried to make sense, im working on four hours of sleep. o_O

[StevenQ]

This must be a really tough situation for you. I'm not gay, but I hate it when women come by and pinch my butt or are noticeably ogling me. We are at work this is supposed to be a professional environment.

[badphish]

OK this is OOT, but the army of homophobes comment stirred up a reply in me.

my background (army medic 20 yrs, EMS paramedic 5 yrs now, future RN student). being in medical field in the closed society that is the army i worked wth many many homosexuals male/female and i treated them no differently than any other soldier i worked wth or for.

When i was in iraq/saudi arabia for the frst persian gulf war i took a female medic wth me because she was my best medic, and wed be far from the PA/doctors/nurses and anyone else wth medical knowledge.

after a few weeks she came out to me. she asked if i would turn her in, i said no because 1. it was just us for those 125 accident prone goof ups we mothered and 2 she was a great medic and 3 whose gonna drive me around as my sense of direction sucks.

point being. the army is not a depository of knuckledragging homophobes.

although im sure they have their fair share.

do a great job, stop the harrasssment and drive on.
peace out,