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10-19-2004, 09:08 PM
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| Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,187
  | Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew, Battle of The Sex http://www.nursinghumor.com/rules ************************************************** **** If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and NASCAR. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. Crying is blackmail. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it! We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. Check your oil. Please. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends like THEIR relationship is SO MUCH better. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. ************************************************** **** ************************************************** **** More Battle of The Sexes Jokes, http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle Ultimate Fantasy! Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/fantasy ************************************************** **** Dogs Vs Men, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://nursinghumor.com/dogs ************************************************** **** Home Repairs, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/repairs ************************************************** **** Why Cats Are Better Than Men, Battles of The Sexes Jokes, Cat-Pet Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/better ************************************************** **** 25 Year Old Breasts, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/25 ************************************************** **** Top Ten Reasons Why God Created Eve, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Top Ten Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/eve ************************************************** **** 17 Ways To Be A WOMAN.... From A Somewhat Bitter Man, Battle of The Sexes: http://www.nursinghumor.com/17 ************************************************** **** The Perfect Man, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/perfect ************************************************** **** Name Calling, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/calling ************************************************** **** A Real Lady, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Infidelity Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/lady ************************************************** **** A Woman Thirty Years Younger, Marriage Jokes, Battle of the Sexes Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/younger ************************************************** **** Mating Bulls, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/bulls ************************************************** **** Five Kinds of Sex, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/five ************************************************** **** Men Are Like . . ., Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/like ************************************************** **** Following Orders, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Gallows Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/following ************************************************** **** Top Fourteen Things PMS Stands For, Top Ten Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/pms ************************************************** **** ************************************************** **** To subscribe to our: Nurse Friendly Notes Newsletter: Send a blank e-mail to: nursefriendlynotes-subscribe@topica.com http://www.nursefriendly.com Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Jokes to make you laugh and smile all day. Send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com http://www.nursinghumor.com Clinical Nursing Cases: Send a blank message to: clinicalnursingcases-subscribe@topica.com http://www.nursingcasestudy.com Inspirational Stories: Send a blank e-mail to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com http://www.nursefriendly.com/inspiration Any questions, please drop me a line. To chat, we are “Nursefriendly” on aol or 6116137 on ICQ. Sincerely, Andrew Lopez, BS RN Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation. 38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051 http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly” 856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618 150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links http://www.4nursing.com http://www.howtostartanursingagency.com http://www.jocularity.com http://www.nursinghumor.com http://www.nursefriendly.com http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com http://www.nursingexperts.com |
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