real medical charts

[LivingDeadNurse]

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
> Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
> On the second day the knee was better and on third day it had completely disappeared.
> She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last nite
> The patient has been depressed ever since she begun seeing me in 1983
> Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
> I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
> The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
> Discharge status: alive but without permission
> The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
> Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
> The patient has had no past history of suicides.
> The expired on the floor uneventfully
> Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
> The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past 3 days.
> She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions early in December
> The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
> Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
> Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up.
> She is numb from her toes down
> The skin was moist and dry
> Patient was alert and unresponsive.
> When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

[bleucloud]

This was found in a chart of a quad who was total care. "Urinal left at bedside for patient to void. Patient advised to ring if assistance required." the same nurse wrote "patient set up with meal tray, stated 'i need help'. nurse gave encouragement and reassurance". (THE GUY IS A QUADRAPLEGIC, HE CANT PISS OR EAT BY HIMSELF YOU RETARD!LoL) Now thats a picture of knowing your patients abilities!hahahah

[LivingDeadNurse]

lol..yea thats pretty bad..