i took him back to walmart

[LivingDeadNurse]

I TOOK HIM BACK TO WAL-MART
> My ex-husband and I fought constantly,
> Why I married him, I'll never know.
> For all those miserable years I said
> My hubby has got to go!
> Tried poisoning cakes, stripping his brakes,
> Salting his pork chops with lime.
> Wiring his chair, igniting his hair
> Even though playing with fire is a crime.
> But I failed at each plot 'til I suddenly thought
> Of a way that would set me free!
> I got rid of him for good and, know what?
> They couldn't do a thing to me!
> I took him back to Wal-Mart!
> They'll take anything back you know!
> They said they couldn't recall selling him,
> But they must have if I said so.
> They just credited him to my Visa and said,
> "Y'all come back now, 'ya hear?"
> They were so nice, polite, pleasant and insistent,
> I took back his mother the next year!
> They'll take anything back at Wal-Mart,
> Though it's broken or rotten or sweet.
> And know what else? This time of year
> You don't even need a receipt!
>