Docisms, What Doctors Say & What They Mean, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor

[nursinghumor]

http://www.nursinghumor.com/docisms

This should be taken care of right away
I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself

Well, what have we here...?
He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue

Let me check your medical history
I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you

Why don't we make another appointment later in the week
I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time.
OR
I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.

We have some good news and some bad news
The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW.
The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.

Let's see how it develops
Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured

Let me schedule you for some tests
I have a forty percent interest in the lab

I'd like to have my associate look at you
He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle

I'd like to prescribe a new drug
I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig

If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call
I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

That's quite a nasty looking wound
I think I'm going to throw up

This may smart a little
Last week two patients bit off their tongues

Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?
I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?

This should fix you up
The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff

Everything seems to be normal Rats!
I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.

I'd like to run some more tests
I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.

Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?
You're crazier than an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who'll split fees with me ...

There is a lot of that going around
My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.

If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment
I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I'm off next week.

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More Medical Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly”
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

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